initial import
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djg
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build.py
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#!/usr/bin/env python3
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"""Static site generator for bestdadjokes.lol. Python 3.6 stdlib only."""
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import json, os, re, shutil, html, datetime
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ROOT = os.path.dirname(os.path.abspath(__file__))
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CONTENT = os.path.join(ROOT, 'content', 'jokes.json')
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SITE_DIR = os.path.join(ROOT, 'site')
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STATIC = os.path.join(ROOT, 'static')
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SITE_URL = 'https://bestdadjokes.lol'
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SITE_NAME = 'Best Dad Jokes'
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TAGLINE = 'The best dad jokes on the internet — short, clean, and groan-worthy.'
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YEAR = datetime.date.today().year
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with open(CONTENT) as f:
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DATA = json.load(f)
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CATS = DATA['categories']
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JOKES = DATA['jokes']
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CAT_BY_SLUG = {c['slug']: c for c in CATS}
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for i, j in enumerate(JOKES):
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j['id'] = i
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# Long-tail topic pages: jokes matched by keyword across all categories.
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TOPICS = [
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{"slug": "coffee", "name": "Dad Jokes About Coffee", "emoji": "☕",
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"intro": "Fuel for dads and their worst puns alike. These coffee dad jokes are best served strong, black, and with a healthy amount of eye-rolling.",
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"keywords": r"\b(coffee|espresso|latte|caffeine|beans?|mugs?)\b"},
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{"slug": "cats", "name": "Dad Jokes About Cats", "emoji": "🐱",
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"intro": "For the cat dads out there. These cat dad jokes will make your feline walk out of the room in disgust — which, for a cat, is a standing ovation.",
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"keywords": r"\b(cats?|kittens?|purr|feline|meow)\b"},
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{"slug": "dogs", "name": "Dad Jokes About Dogs", "emoji": "🐕",
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"intro": "A dog is the only audience that wags at dad jokes. Fetch! These dog dad jokes are good boys, every one of them.",
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"keywords": r"\b(dogs?|puppy|puppies|pup|hound)\b"},
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{"slug": "cows", "name": "Dad Jokes About Cows", "emoji": "🐄",
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"intro": "Outstanding in their field and in our pun archive. These cow dad jokes are udderly relentless.",
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"keywords": r"\b(cows?|cattle|moo|udder|beef|herd)\b"},
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{"slug": "pizza", "name": "Dad Jokes About Pizza", "emoji": "🍕",
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"intro": "A slice of comedy gold. These pizza dad jokes are cheesy by design — that's not a bug, it's the whole point.",
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"keywords": r"\bpizzas?\b"},
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{"slug": "money", "name": "Dad Jokes About Money", "emoji": "💰",
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"intro": "Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy these money dad jokes, which are basically the same thing but cheaper.",
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"keywords": r"\b(money|cash|coins?|dollars?|penn(y|ies)|bank|rich|spen[dt]|salary)\b"},
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{"slug": "sleep", "name": "Dad Jokes About Sleep", "emoji": "😴",
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"intro": "Read these sleep dad jokes in bed. Groaning yourself to sleep counts as a lullaby.",
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"keywords": r"\b(sleep|nap|bed|pillow|blanket|tired|asleep|dream)\b"},
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{"slug": "love", "name": "Dad Jokes About Love", "emoji": "❤️",
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"intro": "Romance, dad-style. These love dad jokes have walked someone down the aisle against their will and lived to pun about it.",
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"keywords": r"\b(love|romantic|valentine|marri(ed|age)|attract|wife|husband|buoy)\b"},
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{"slug": "birthday", "name": "Birthday Dad Jokes", "emoji": "🎂",
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"intro": "Because every birthday needs at least one groan with the cake. These birthday dad jokes are tradition now, sorry.",
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"keywords": r"\b(birthday|cake|candles?|party|presents?)\b"},
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{"slug": "winter", "name": "Winter Dad Jokes", "emoji": "⛄",
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"intro": "These winter dad jokes are snow joke. Perfect for breaking the ice at any cold-weather gathering.",
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"keywords": r"\b(winter|snow|snowman|ic(y|icle)|frost|chill)\b"},
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]
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MIN_TOPIC_JOKES = 5
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def esc(s):
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return html.escape(s, quote=True)
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def joke_count(slug):
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return sum(1 for j in JOKES if j['cat'] == slug)
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def joke_card(j, reveal=False):
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"""A single joke card. Punchline is in the DOM (SEO-safe); JS blurs until clicked."""
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cls = 'joke-card'
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if j.get('type') == 'knock':
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body = '<p class="joke-setup multi">%s</p>' % esc(j['setup']).replace('\n', '<br>')
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else:
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body = '<p class="joke-setup">%s</p>' % esc(j['setup'])
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punch = '<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>%s</div>' % esc(j['punch'])
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share = ('<button class="btn-tiny" data-share="%d">🖼️ Share as image</button>'
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'<button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="%d">📋 Copy</button>' % (j['id'], j['id']))
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return ('<figure class="%s" id="joke-%d">%s%s'
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'<figcaption class="joke-actions">%s</figcaption></figure>'
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% (cls, j['id'], body, punch, share))
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def layout(title, desc, body, path='/', extra_head=''):
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nav_cats = ''.join(
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'<a href="/category/%s/">%s %s</a>' % (c['slug'], c['emoji'], esc(c['name']))
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for c in CATS[:7])
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rest = ''.join('<a href="/category/%s/">%s %s</a>' % (c['slug'], c['emoji'], esc(c['name']))
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for c in CATS[7:])
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foot_cats = ''.join('<a href="/category/%s/">%s</a>' % (c['slug'], esc(c['name'])) for c in CATS)
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return f"""<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html lang="en">
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8">
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
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<title>{esc(title)}</title>
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<meta name="description" content="{esc(desc)}">
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<link rel="canonical" href="{SITE_URL}{esc(path)}">
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<link rel="icon" href="/static/favicon.svg" type="image/svg+xml">
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<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Dad Joke of the Day" href="/rss.xml">
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<meta property="og:site_name" content="{SITE_NAME}">
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<meta property="og:title" content="{esc(title)}">
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<meta property="og:description" content="{esc(desc)}">
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<meta property="og:type" content="website">
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<meta property="og:url" content="{SITE_URL}{esc(path)}">
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<meta name="twitter:card" content="summary">
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<link rel="stylesheet" href="/static/style.css">
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<style>:root{{--brand:#e4572e;--brand2:#f5a623;--ink:#2b2118;--cream:#fff8ec;--card:#ffffff}}</style>
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{extra_head}
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</head>
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<body>
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<header class="site-header">
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<div class="wrap header-row">
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<a class="logo" href="/">😂 <strong>Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes</strong><em>.lol</em></a>
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<input type="checkbox" id="navtoggle" class="navtoggle">
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<label for="navtoggle" class="navburger" aria-label="Menu">☰</label>
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<nav class="site-nav">
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<a href="/" {'class="on"' if path == '/' else ''}>Home</a>
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<a href="/dad-joke-generator/" {'class="on"' if path.startswith('/dad-joke-generator') else ''}>Joke Generator</a>
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<a href="/joke-of-the-day/" {'class="on"' if path.startswith('/joke-of-the-day') else ''}>Joke of the Day</a>
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<a href="/search/" {'class="on"' if path.startswith('/search') else ''}>Search</a>
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<a href="/about/" {'class="on"' if path.startswith('/about') else ''}>About</a>
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</nav>
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</div>
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<div class="wrap catbar">
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{nav_cats}<a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
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</div>
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</header>
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<main>
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{body}
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</main>
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<footer class="site-footer">
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<div class="wrap foot-grid">
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<div>
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<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
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<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
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</div>
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<div>
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<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
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<div class="foot-links">{foot_cats}</div>
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</div>
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<div>
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<p class="foot-h">More</p>
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<div class="foot-links">
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<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
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<a href="/joke-of-the-day/">Joke of the Day</a>
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<a href="/search/">Search Jokes</a>
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<a href="/rss.xml">RSS Feed</a>
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<a href="/api/v1/random.json">Free JSON API</a>
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<a href="/about/">About</a>
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<a href="/contact/">Contact</a>
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<a href="/privacy-policy/">Privacy Policy</a>
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<a href="/terms/">Terms</a>
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</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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<div class="wrap foot-base">
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<p>© {YEAR} {SITE_NAME} · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
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</div>
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</footer>
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<script src="/static/jokes-data.js" defer></script>
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<script src="/static/main.js" defer></script>
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</body>
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</html>"""
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def page_index():
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rnd = JOKES[(datetime.date.today().toordinal() * 7) % len(JOKES)]
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d_idx = datetime.date.today().toordinal()
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jod = JOKES[d_idx % len(JOKES)]
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latest = JOKES[-12:][::-1]
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live_topics = [t for t in TOPICS if len(topic_jokes(t)) >= MIN_TOPIC_JOKES]
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topic_chips = ''.join('<a class="chip" href="/topic/%s/">%s %s</a>' % (
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t['slug'], t['emoji'], esc(t['name'].replace('Dad Jokes About ', '').replace('Dad Jokes', 'Jokes')))
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for t in live_topics)
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cat_cards = ''.join(f"""
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<a class="cat-card" href="/category/{c['slug']}/">
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<span class="cat-emoji">{c['emoji']}</span>
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<span class="cat-name">{esc(c['name'])}</span>
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<span class="cat-count">{joke_count(c['slug'])} jokes</span>
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</a>""" for c in CATS)
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latest_cards = ''.join(joke_card(j) for j in latest)
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body = f"""
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<section class="hero wrap">
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<h1>The Best Dad Jokes on the Internet</h1>
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<p class="hero-sub">Short. Clean. Painfully punny. {len(JOKES)}+ jokes your kids don't want to hear but absolutely need to.</p>
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<div class="hero-card">
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<p class="joke-setup" data-hero-setup>{esc(rnd['setup'])}</p>
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<div class="joke-punch" data-hero-punch>{esc(rnd['punch'])}</div>
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<div class="hero-btns">
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<button class="btn" data-hero-next>🎲 Another one</button>
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<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-copy-hero>📋 Copy</button>
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<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-share-hero>🖼️ Share as image</button>
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</div>
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</div>
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</section>
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<!-- AD_SLOT_TOP -->
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<section class="wrap">
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<div class="jod-banner">
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<p class="jod-label">😄 Dad Joke of the Day</p>
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<p class="joke-setup">{esc(jod['setup'])}</p>
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<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>{esc(jod['punch'])}</div>
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<p class="jod-more"><a href="/joke-of-the-day/">See the archive →</a></p>
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</div>
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</section>
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<section class="wrap" id="all-cats">
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<h2>Browse Dad Jokes by Category</h2>
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<div class="cat-grid">{cat_cards}</div>
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</section>
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<section class="wrap" id="topics">
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<h2>Popular Dad Joke Topics</h2>
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<div class="chips">
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{topic_chips}
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</div>
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</section>
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<!-- AD_SLOT_MID -->
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<section class="wrap">
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<h2>Fresh Out of the Dad Oven</h2>
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<div class="joke-grid">{latest_cards}</div>
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<p class="center-link"><a class="btn" href="/dad-joke-generator/">Open the Dad Joke Generator →</a></p>
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</section>
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<section class="wrap seo-blurb">
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<h2>What is a dad joke?</h2>
|
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<p>A dad joke is a short, clean, pun-based joke delivered with maximum confidence and zero shame. It's the kind of joke that makes your kids groan, your wife roll her eyes, and your dog leave the room. Science has yet to explain why hearing one makes you feel briefly smarter and visibly worse at the same time.</p>
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<p>This site is a growing collection of the best dad jokes on the internet: one-liners, knock-knock jokes, and puns about animals, food, work, school, sports, tech, space and more. Every joke is family-friendly — the only thing at risk of injury is everyone's patience. Start with the <a href="/dad-joke-generator/">dad joke generator</a>, browse the <a href="#all-cats">categories</a>, or come back every day for a new <a href="/joke-of-the-day/">dad joke of the day</a>.</p>
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</section>"""
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title = 'Best Dad Jokes — %d+ Funny, Clean Dad Jokes (One-Liners, Puns & Knock-Knocks)' % len(JOKES)
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desc = ('The best dad jokes on the internet: %d clean, funny, groan-worthy dad jokes. '
|
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'One-liners, knock-knock jokes and puns by category, plus a daily dad joke and a free generator.'
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% len(JOKES))
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ld = {
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"@context": "https://schema.org",
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"@type": "WebSite",
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||||||
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"name": SITE_NAME,
|
||||||
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"url": SITE_URL + '/',
|
||||||
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"description": TAGLINE,
|
||||||
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"potentialAction": {
|
||||||
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"@type": "SearchAction",
|
||||||
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"target": SITE_URL + "/search/?q={search_term_string}",
|
||||||
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"query-input": "required name=search_term_string"
|
||||||
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}
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||||||
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}
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return layout(title, desc, body, '/',
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'<script type="application/ld+json">%s</script>' % esc(json.dumps(ld)))
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def page_category(slug):
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c = CAT_BY_SLUG[slug]
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js = [j for j in JOKES if j['cat'] == slug]
|
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cards = ''.join(joke_card(j) for j in js)
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others = [o for o in CATS if o['slug'] != slug][:6]
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others_html = ''.join('<a class="chip" href="/category/%s/">%s %s</a>' % (o['slug'], o['emoji'], esc(o['name'])) for o in others)
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body = f"""
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<div class="wrap">
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<nav class="crumbs"><a href="/">Home</a> › <span>{esc(c['name'])}</span></nav>
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<h1>{c['emoji']} {esc(c['name'])}</h1>
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<p class="page-sub">{esc(c['blurb'])} That's {len(js)} jokes of pure dad energy.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid">{cards}</div>
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<!-- AD_SLOT_CAT -->
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||||||
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<h2>Keep the groans going</h2>
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||||||
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<div class="chips">{others_html}</div>
|
||||||
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<p class="center-link"><a class="btn" href="/dad-joke-generator/">🎲 Random Dad Joke Generator</a></p>
|
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</div>"""
|
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title = '%s — %d Funny, Clean %s' % (c['name'], len(js), c['name'])
|
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desc = '%s %s %d jokes, all clean and all terrible. Perfect for dads, teachers and any occasion that needs a groan.' % (c['blurb'], 'Browse', len(js))
|
||||||
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ld = {"@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [
|
||||||
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{"@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": SITE_URL + '/'},
|
||||||
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{"@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": c['name'], "item": SITE_URL + '/category/%s/' % slug}]}
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return layout(title, desc, body, '/category/%s/' % slug,
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'<script type="application/ld+json">%s</script>' % esc(json.dumps(ld)))
|
||||||
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||||||
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||||||
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def topic_jokes(topic):
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||||||
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pat = re.compile(topic['keywords'])
|
||||||
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return [j for j in JOKES if pat.search((j['setup'] + ' ' + j['punch']).lower())]
|
||||||
|
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||||||
|
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||||||
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def page_topic(slug):
|
||||||
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t = next(t for t in TOPICS if t['slug'] == slug)
|
||||||
|
js = topic_jokes(t)
|
||||||
|
if len(js) < MIN_TOPIC_JOKES:
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
cards = ''.join(joke_card(j) for j in js)
|
||||||
|
other_topics = [o for o in TOPICS if o['slug'] != slug and len(topic_jokes(o)) >= MIN_TOPIC_JOKES][:6]
|
||||||
|
chips = ''.join('<a class="chip" href="/topic/%s/">%s %s</a>' % (o['slug'], o['emoji'], esc(o['name'].replace('Dad Jokes About ', '').replace('Dad Jokes', 'Jokes'))) for o in other_topics)
|
||||||
|
body = f"""
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap">
|
||||||
|
<nav class="crumbs"><a href="/">Home</a> › <a href="/#topics">Topics</a> › <span>{esc(t['name'])}</span></nav>
|
||||||
|
<h1>{t['emoji']} {esc(t['name'])}</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">{esc(t['intro'])} That's {len(js)} of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-grid">{cards}</div>
|
||||||
|
<h2>More where that came from</h2>
|
||||||
|
<div class="chips">{chips}</div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="center-link"><a class="btn" href="/dad-joke-generator/">🎲 Random Dad Joke Generator</a></p>
|
||||||
|
</div>"""
|
||||||
|
title = '%s — %d Clean, Groan-Worthy Jokes' % (t['name'], len(js))
|
||||||
|
desc = '%s %s' % (t['intro'], 'A curated collection of %d clean, family-friendly jokes.' % len(js))
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/topic/%s/' % slug)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_generator():
|
||||||
|
body = """
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>🎲 Dad Joke Generator</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">One click. One random dad joke. Zero apologies. Works at parties, in the car line, and mid-argument.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-card gen-card">
|
||||||
|
<p class="joke-setup" data-gen-setup>Click the button to summon a dad joke.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-punch" data-gen-punch></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-btns">
|
||||||
|
<button class="btn" data-gen-next>🎲 Generate dad joke</button>
|
||||||
|
<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-gen-copy>📋 Copy</button>
|
||||||
|
<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-gen-share>🖼️ Share as image</button>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<h2>How to weaponize a dad joke</h2>
|
||||||
|
<ol class="plain-list">
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Deliver with confidence.</strong> Eye contact is everything. The dad joke fears hesitation.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Pause before the punchline.</strong> Let the suspense marinate. Then pounce.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Ignore the groans.</strong> The groan is applause in dad dialect.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Repeat the best ones.</strong> Repetition builds tradition. Tradition builds groans.</li>
|
||||||
|
</ol>
|
||||||
|
<p>Looking for something specific? <a href="/search/">Search all dad jokes</a> or browse by <a href="/#all-cats">category</a>.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>"""
|
||||||
|
title = 'Dad Joke Generator — Random Dad Jokes, One Click'
|
||||||
|
desc = 'Press one button and get a random dad joke instantly. Hundreds of clean, funny dad jokes ready to embarrass your kids.'
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/dad-joke-generator/')
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_jotd():
|
||||||
|
d = datetime.date.today()
|
||||||
|
j = JOKES[d.toordinal() % len(JOKES)]
|
||||||
|
body = f"""
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>😄 Dad Joke of the Day</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">A brand-new dad joke every single day. Doctors recommend exactly one per day. We won't tell if you don't.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="jod-banner jod-page">
|
||||||
|
<p class="jod-date" data-jod-date>{d.strftime('%B %d, %Y')}</p>
|
||||||
|
<p class="joke-setup" data-jod-setup>{esc(j['setup'])}</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-punch" data-punch data-jod-punch>{esc(j['punch'])}</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-btns">
|
||||||
|
<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-jod-copy>📋 Copy</button>
|
||||||
|
<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-jod-share>🖼️ Share as image</button>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<h2>The dad joke archive</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Every recent dad joke of the day, one per day, no repeats (for a few months, anyway):</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="archive" data-jod-archive></div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="center-link"><a class="btn" href="/dad-joke-generator/">Can't wait a whole day? Generator →</a></p>
|
||||||
|
</div>"""
|
||||||
|
title = 'Dad Joke of the Day — A New Funny Dad Joke Daily'
|
||||||
|
desc = "Today's dad joke of the day, plus the full archive. One clean, funny dad joke for every day of the year."
|
||||||
|
ld = {"@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "SpecialAnnouncement", "name": "Dad Joke of the Day",
|
||||||
|
"url": SITE_URL + '/joke-of-the-day/', "category": "https://schema.org/EntertainmentEvent"}
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/joke-of-the-day/',
|
||||||
|
'<link rel="canonical" href="%s/joke-of-the-day/">' % SITE_URL +
|
||||||
|
'<script type="application/ld+json">%s</script>' % esc(json.dumps(ld)))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_search():
|
||||||
|
body = """
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>🔎 Search Dad Jokes</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">Looking for a dad joke about coffee, cats, or cardio? Type it in. We probably have a pun for that.</p>
|
||||||
|
<form class="search-form" onsubmit="return false;">
|
||||||
|
<input type="search" id="search-box" placeholder="Try 'pizza', 'cow', 'work'..." autocomplete="off">
|
||||||
|
</form>
|
||||||
|
<p class="search-count" data-search-count></p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-grid" data-search-results></div>
|
||||||
|
<p data-search-empty style="display:none">No jokes matched. Which, honestly, is a great setup for a new dad joke — send it to us via the <a href="/contact/">contact page</a>.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>"""
|
||||||
|
title = 'Search Dad Jokes — Find a Dad Joke About Anything'
|
||||||
|
desc = 'Search hundreds of clean dad jokes by keyword. Find puns and one-liners about any topic instantly.'
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/search/')
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_about():
|
||||||
|
body = """
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>👋 About Best Dad Jokes</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p>Welcome to <strong>BestDadJokes.lol</strong> — a growing collection of the internet's best dad jokes: short, clean, pun-heavy, and delivered with the quiet confidence only a dad can muster.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>The mission is simple: build the most useful dad joke resource on the internet. That means:</p>
|
||||||
|
<ul class="plain-list">
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Curated, not scraped.</strong> Every joke is hand-picked for maximum groan. If it doesn't make someone audibly sigh, it doesn't make the cut.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Family-friendly, always.</strong> Clean humor that's safe to tell at the dinner table, the office, or the school pickup line.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Fast and simple.</strong> No pop-ups, no logins, no nonsense. Just jokes.</li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Why dad jokes?</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Because a dad joke is never just a joke. It's a love language. It's saying "I would rather embarrass myself than miss a chance to make you laugh." Also, they're free, and this is a budget operation.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Get in touch</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Got a joke that deserves to be here? Found a bug? Want to license 300 dad jokes for your family group chat? Head to the <a href="/contact/">contact page</a>.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>"""
|
||||||
|
title = 'About — Best Dad Jokes .lol'
|
||||||
|
desc = 'BestDadJokes.lol is a curated collection of clean, funny dad jokes. Hand-picked jokes, family-friendly humor, zero nonsense.'
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/about/')
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_contact():
|
||||||
|
body = """
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>📮 Contact</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p>Want to send us the greatest dad joke of all time? Report a joke that's more "dad" than "joke"? Tell us the site made you laugh so hard you spilled your coffee? We read everything.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Email us at <a href="mailto:hello@bestdadjokes.lol">hello@bestdadjokes.lol</a> — responses may be delayed by naps.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Joke submissions</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Include the setup and the punchline in your email. If we use it, you get full bragging rights and absolutely no money, which is exactly how dad economics works.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>"""
|
||||||
|
title = 'Contact — Best Dad Jokes .lol'
|
||||||
|
desc = 'Get in touch with BestDadJokes.lol — submit a dad joke, say hi, or report a bug.'
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/contact/')
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_privacy():
|
||||||
|
body = """
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>Privacy Policy</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">Last updated: %s</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>BestDadJokes.lol respects your privacy, which is ironic because dads famously respect nothing more than a good interruption. Here's the deal in plain English:</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>What we collect</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>We keep standard web server logs (IP address, browser type, pages visited) for security and aggregate traffic statistics. We do not ask for your name, email, or your kids' report cards. There are no accounts on this site.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Cookies and advertising</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>We may display advertising on this site to keep it free. Advertising partners, which may include Google, use cookies and similar technologies to serve ads based on your prior visits to this and other websites.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Google's use of advertising cookies enables it and its partners to serve ads based on your visits to this site and/or other sites on the Internet. You may opt out of personalized advertising by visiting <a href="https://www.google.com/settings/ads" rel="nofollow noopener">Google Ads Settings</a>, or opt out of third-party vendor cookies at <a href="https://www.aboutads.info" rel="nofollow noopener">aboutads.info</a>.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>If we run a consent banner for visitors from the EEA/UK, your choices will be honored and stored locally.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Analytics</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>We use aggregate, privacy-respecting analytics to count page views and understand which categories people enjoy. This data cannot reasonably be used to identify you.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Data sharing</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>We do not sell personal data. We have no personal data to sell. We barely have data.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Children</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Content on this site is family-friendly by design. The site is not directed at children under 13, and we do not knowingly collect personal information from children.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Contact</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Questions about this policy? Email <a href="mailto:hello@bestdadjokes.lol">hello@bestdadjokes.lol</a>.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>""" % datetime.date.today().strftime('%B %d, %Y')
|
||||||
|
title = 'Privacy Policy — Best Dad Jokes .lol'
|
||||||
|
desc = 'Privacy policy for BestDadJokes.lol — what we collect (very little), cookies, advertising, and your choices.'
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/privacy-policy/')
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_terms():
|
||||||
|
body = """
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>Terms of Use</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">Last updated: %s</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>By using BestDadJokes.lol you agree to the following terms. Reading them aloud in a dad voice is optional but encouraged.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Use of content</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>The jokes on this site are provided for personal, non-commercial enjoyment. Share them freely at dinner tables, offices, and group chats. If you want to republish jokes in bulk or use this site commercially, contact us first — we're reasonable people.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>No warranties</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>This site is provided "as is." We make no guarantees that jokes will be funny, that groans will be produced, or that your teenagers will acknowledge your existence. All comedic risk is yours.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Limitation of liability</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>To the fullest extent permitted by law, BestDadJokes.lol is not liable for any damages arising from use of the site, including but not limited to eye-rolling, sighing, involuntary chuckling, and children hiding your phone.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>External links</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>We are not responsible for the content of external websites, including their jokes, which are almost certainly worse than ours.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Changes</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>We may update these terms occasionally. Continued use of the site means you accept the updated terms, and possibly a fresh dad joke.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>""" % datetime.date.today().strftime('%B %d, %Y')
|
||||||
|
title = 'Terms of Use — Best Dad Jokes .lol'
|
||||||
|
desc = 'Terms of use for BestDadJokes.lol.'
|
||||||
|
return layout(title, desc, body, '/terms/')
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def page_404():
|
||||||
|
body = """
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow center">
|
||||||
|
<h1>404</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">This page is like a dad joke that got cut from the site — it just didn't land.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-card">
|
||||||
|
<p class="joke-setup">Why did the web page go to therapy?</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It had too many broken links.</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p><a class="btn" href="/">Take me home →</a></p>
|
||||||
|
</div>"""
|
||||||
|
return layout('404 — Page Not Found', 'Page not found. The joke is on us.', body, '/404.html')
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def write(path, content):
|
||||||
|
full = os.path.join(SITE_DIR, path)
|
||||||
|
os.makedirs(os.path.dirname(full), exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
with open(full, 'w') as f:
|
||||||
|
f.write(content)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def build():
|
||||||
|
if os.path.exists(SITE_DIR):
|
||||||
|
shutil.rmtree(SITE_DIR)
|
||||||
|
os.makedirs(SITE_DIR)
|
||||||
|
# static assets
|
||||||
|
st = os.path.join(SITE_DIR, 'static')
|
||||||
|
os.makedirs(st, exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
for fn in os.listdir(STATIC):
|
||||||
|
shutil.copy(os.path.join(STATIC, fn), st)
|
||||||
|
# jokes data for client-side JS
|
||||||
|
payload = {
|
||||||
|
'categories': [{'slug': c['slug'], 'name': c['name'], 'emoji': c['emoji']} for c in CATS],
|
||||||
|
'jokes': [{'id': j['id'], 'cat': j['cat'], 'type': j.get('type', 'qa'),
|
||||||
|
's': j['setup'], 'p': j['punch']} for j in JOKES]}
|
||||||
|
write('static/jokes-data.js',
|
||||||
|
'window.BDJ=%s;' % json.dumps(payload, ensure_ascii=False, separators=(',', ':')))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
write('index.html', page_index())
|
||||||
|
for c in CATS:
|
||||||
|
write('category/%s/index.html' % c['slug'], page_category(c['slug']))
|
||||||
|
for t in TOPICS:
|
||||||
|
page = page_topic(t['slug'])
|
||||||
|
if page:
|
||||||
|
write('topic/%s/index.html' % t['slug'], page)
|
||||||
|
write('dad-joke-generator/index.html', page_generator())
|
||||||
|
write('joke-of-the-day/index.html', page_jotd())
|
||||||
|
write('search/index.html', page_search())
|
||||||
|
write('about/index.html', page_about())
|
||||||
|
write('contact/index.html', page_contact())
|
||||||
|
write('privacy-policy/index.html', page_privacy())
|
||||||
|
write('terms/index.html', page_terms())
|
||||||
|
write('404.html', page_404())
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# robots + sitemap
|
||||||
|
pages = ['/', '/dad-joke-generator/', '/joke-of-the-day/', '/search/', '/about/', '/contact/',
|
||||||
|
'/privacy-policy/', '/terms/'] + ['/category/%s/' % c['slug'] for c in CATS] \
|
||||||
|
+ ['/topic/%s/' % t['slug'] for t in TOPICS if len(topic_jokes(t)) >= MIN_TOPIC_JOKES]
|
||||||
|
write('robots.txt', 'User-agent: *\nAllow: /\n\nSitemap: %s/sitemap.xml\n' % SITE_URL)
|
||||||
|
today = datetime.date.today().isoformat()
|
||||||
|
sm = ['<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>',
|
||||||
|
'<urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9">']
|
||||||
|
for p in pages:
|
||||||
|
sm.append('<url><loc>%s%s</loc><lastmod>%s</lastmod><changefreq>%s</changefreq><priority>%s</priority></url>'
|
||||||
|
% (SITE_URL, p, today, 'weekly' if p == '/' else 'monthly', '1.0' if p == '/' else '0.8'))
|
||||||
|
sm.append('</urlset>')
|
||||||
|
write('sitemap.xml', '\n'.join(sm))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# RSS: dad joke of the day feed, last 21 days
|
||||||
|
from email.utils import formatdate
|
||||||
|
now_ts = datetime.datetime.utcnow().timestamp()
|
||||||
|
items = []
|
||||||
|
for back in range(21):
|
||||||
|
d = datetime.date.today() - datetime.timedelta(days=back)
|
||||||
|
j = JOKES[d.toordinal() % len(JOKES)]
|
||||||
|
ts = now_ts - back * 86400
|
||||||
|
items.append(
|
||||||
|
'<item><title>%s</title><link>%s/joke-of-the-day/?d=%s</link>'
|
||||||
|
'<guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-%s</guid>'
|
||||||
|
'<pubDate>%s</pubDate><description>%s — %s</description></item>'
|
||||||
|
% (esc('Dad Joke of the Day — %s' % d.strftime('%b %d')), SITE_URL, d.isoformat(),
|
||||||
|
d.isoformat(), formatdate(ts), esc(j['setup']), esc(j['punch'])))
|
||||||
|
rss = ('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>'
|
||||||
|
'<rss version="2.0"><channel><title>%s — Dad Joke of the Day</title>'
|
||||||
|
'<link>%s/joke-of-the-day/</link><description>%s</description>'
|
||||||
|
'<language>en-us</language>%s</channel></rss>'
|
||||||
|
% (esc(SITE_NAME), SITE_URL, esc(TAGLINE), ''.join(items)))
|
||||||
|
write('rss.xml', rss)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# free JSON API
|
||||||
|
rnd = JOKES[(datetime.datetime.utcnow().microsecond // 1000) * len(JOKES) // 1000]
|
||||||
|
tod = JOKES[datetime.date.today().toordinal() % len(JOKES)]
|
||||||
|
def api_j(j):
|
||||||
|
return json.dumps({'setup': j['setup'], 'punchline': j['punch'], 'type': j.get('type', 'qa'),
|
||||||
|
'category': j['cat'],
|
||||||
|
'source': SITE_URL + '/category/%s/#joke-%d' % (j['cat'], j['id'])},
|
||||||
|
ensure_ascii=False)
|
||||||
|
write('api/v1/random.json', api_j(rnd))
|
||||||
|
write('api/v1/today.json', api_j(tod))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
total = sum(os.path.getsize(os.path.join(dp, f)) for dp, dn, fn in os.walk(SITE_DIR) for f in fn)
|
||||||
|
nfiles = sum(len(fn) for dp, dn, fn in os.walk(SITE_DIR))
|
||||||
|
print('Built %d files into %s (%d bytes)' % (nfiles, SITE_DIR, total))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if __name__ == '__main__':
|
||||||
|
build()
|
||||||
362
content/jokes.json
Normal file
362
content/jokes.json
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,362 @@
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"categories": [
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "animals", "name": "Animal Dad Jokes", "emoji": "🦝", "blurb": "Paws-itively terrible animal puns that will make the whole zoo groan."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "food", "name": "Food Dad Jokes", "emoji": "🍕", "blurb": "Freshly baked food puns served with a side of eye-rolls."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "work", "name": "Work & Office Dad Jokes", "emoji": "💼", "blurb": "Watercooler-worthy workplace jokes for the 9-to-5 groan."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "school", "name": "School & Teacher Dad Jokes", "emoji": "🎒", "blurb": "Class clown certified jokes for teachers, students and homework survivors."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "sports", "name": "Sports Dad Jokes", "emoji": "⚽", "blurb": "Jokes that swing, dribble and score — straight from the sidelines."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "tech", "name": "Tech & Computer Dad Jokes", "emoji": "💻", "blurb": "404: good joke not found. Just kidding — these are giggle-bytes."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "family", "name": "Family & Parenting Dad Jokes", "emoji": "👨👩👧", "blurb": "Certified dad behavior: jokes the whole family has to live with."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "weather", "name": "Weather Dad Jokes", "emoji": "⛅", "blurb": "Forecast: 100% chance of groans with scattered puns."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "space", "name": "Space Dad Jokes", "emoji": "🚀", "blurb": "Out-of-this-world jokes — no astronaut training required."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "travel", "name": "Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes", "emoji": "✈️", "blurb": "Puns to pack on every trip, from Fin-land to Pencil-vania."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "halloween", "name": "Halloween Dad Jokes", "emoji": "🎃", "blurb": "Spook-tacular jokes that are scary bad (and that's the point)."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "christmas", "name": "Christmas Dad Jokes", "emoji": "🎄", "blurb": "Ho-ho-horrible holiday jokes for the whole workshop."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "knock-knock", "name": "Knock-Knock Jokes", "emoji": "🚪", "blurb": "Who's there? The internet's best collection of knock-knock jokes."},
|
||||||
|
{"slug": "one-liners", "name": "Dad Joke One-Liners", "emoji": "🎤", "blurb": "Rapid-fire one-liners. Mic drop optional, groan guaranteed."}
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
|
"jokes": [
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why don't oysters share their pearls?", "punch": "Because they're shellfish."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a bear with no teeth?", "punch": "A gummy bear."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a sleeping bull?", "punch": "A bulldozer."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why are fish so smart?", "punch": "Because they live in schools."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call an alligator in a vest?", "punch": "An investigator."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a fish without eyes?", "punch": "A fsh."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a deer with no eyes?", "punch": "No eye deer."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?", "punch": "Still no eye deer."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?", "punch": "Because they lactose."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?", "punch": "Bison."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why did the turtle cross the road?", "punch": "To get to the shell station."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why do seagulls fly over the sea?", "punch": "Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What's a cat's favorite color?", "punch": "Purr-ple."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why did the dog sit in the shade?", "punch": "Because he didn't want to be a hot dog."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a pig that does karate?", "punch": "A pork chop."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "How do bees get to school?", "punch": "On the school buzz."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?", "punch": "Hoo-dini."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why don't ducks tell jokes when they fly?", "punch": "Because they'd quack up."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What did the horse say when it tripped?", "punch": "Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?", "punch": "A boa constructor."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What's a frog's favorite type of shoes?", "punch": "Open-toad."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a crab that plays baseball?", "punch": "A pinch hitter."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a lazy kangaroo?", "punch": "A pouch potato."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "How does a penguin build its house?", "punch": "Igloos it together."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?", "punch": "Your nose touches the ceiling."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why do cows wear bells?", "punch": "Because their horns don't work."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why do seals swim in salt water?", "punch": "Because pepper water makes them sneeze."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?", "punch": "Ten-tickles."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a magic dog?", "punch": "A labracadabrador."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the tomato blush?", "punch": "Because it saw the salad dressing."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What do you call a fake noodle?", "punch": "An impasta."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the cookie go to the doctor?", "punch": "Because it was feeling crummy."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What did the grape do when it got stepped on?", "punch": "It let out a little wine."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why don't eggs tell jokes?", "punch": "They'd crack each other up."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What do you call cheese that isn't yours?", "punch": "Nacho cheese."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the banana go to the doctor?", "punch": "It wasn't peeling well."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What's orange and sounds like a parrot?", "punch": "A carrot."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?", "punch": "Yellow!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What did one plate say to the other plate?", "punch": "Dinner's on me."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit?", "punch": "Because it was cultured."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What do you call a sad strawberry?", "punch": "A blueberry."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?", "punch": "Where's popcorn?"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the chef get arrested?", "punch": "He was caught beating an egg."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What kind of room doesn't have doors?", "punch": "A mushroom."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What did the lettuce say to the celery?", "punch": "Romaine calm."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the man put his money in the freezer?", "punch": "He wanted cold hard cash."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What did the hamburger name its daughter?", "punch": "Patty."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen at the beach?", "punch": "Otherwise they'd peel."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the pizzeria owner go out of business?", "punch": "He couldn't make enough dough."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What do you call an avocado that's been blessed?", "punch": "Holy guacamole."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the coffee file a police report?", "punch": "It got mugged."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What do you call a cow on a trampoline?", "punch": "A milkshake."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the melons plan a big wedding?", "punch": "Because they cantaloupe."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What did the baby cookie's parents do when it cried?", "punch": "They felt crumby."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why did the scarecrow win an award?", "punch": "He was outstanding in his field."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?", "punch": "He took a couple of days off."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "My boss told me to have a good day.", "punch": "So I went home."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why did the banker quit his job?", "punch": "He lost interest."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.", "punch": "It was sole destroying."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I got fired from the orange juice factory.", "punch": "I couldn't concentrate."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the supply closet?", "punch": "Supplies!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why do employees drink so much coffee at work?", "punch": "It's the weekend immune system that keeps them going."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I just got a job making clocks.", "punch": "It's about time."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I used to be a tailor.", "punch": "Turns out I wasn't suited for it."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I started a business making origami.", "punch": "Unfortunately, it folded."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "How's my job security?", "punch": "Rock solid — nobody else wants it."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why did the pencil get a promotion?", "punch": "It was on point."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I asked my boss for a raise.", "punch": "He said the elevator does that, and handed me a ladder."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why do bakers work so hard?", "punch": "Because they knead the dough."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I quit my job at the helium factory.", "punch": "I refused to be spoken to in that tone."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "I got a job feeding the giraffes at the zoo.", "punch": "The pay is lousy, and it's a tall order."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why did the calendar apply for the job?", "punch": "It had a lot of dates."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Retirement is the best job I've ever had.", "punch": "The pay is terrible, but the hours are great."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "My boss said: dress for the job you want, not the job you have.", "punch": "Now HR is asking why I came to work dressed as the boss."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the student eat his homework?", "punch": "Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why was the math book sad?", "punch": "It had too many problems."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?", "punch": "Because her students were so bright."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Who's the king of all school supplies?", "punch": "The ruler."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the student bring a ladder to school?", "punch": "He wanted to go to high school."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why was the equal sign so humble?", "punch": "It knew it wasn't less than or greater than anyone else."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?", "punch": "A private tutor."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the music teacher need a ladder?", "punch": "To reach the high notes."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "What did the paper say to the pencil?", "punch": "Write on!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the kid study in the airplane?", "punch": "He wanted a higher education."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why was the geometry book so adorable?", "punch": "It had acute angles."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "What's a math teacher's favorite tree?", "punch": "Geome-tree."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "The past, the present, and the future walked into class.", "punch": "It was tense."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the clock get in trouble at school?", "punch": "It kept tocking back."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?", "punch": "They're all in high school."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the geography teacher love the ocean?", "punch": "It was full of currents."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Teacher: 'Name two pronouns.'", "punch": "Student: 'Who, me?'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why do calculators make great friends?", "punch": "You can always count on them."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "What's a pirate's favorite subject?", "punch": "ARRRR-t."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the kid throw butter out the window?", "punch": "He wanted to see a butter fly."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "school", "setup": "Why did the child cross the playground?", "punch": "To get to the other slide."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?", "punch": "In case he got a hole in one."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why did the bicycle fall over?", "punch": "It was two-tired."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why can't basketball players go on vacation?", "punch": "They'd get called for traveling."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why did the football coach go to the bank?", "punch": "To get his quarterback."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "What's a runner's favorite subject?", "punch": "Jog-raphy."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?", "punch": "So he could tie the score."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why don't prisoners play tennis?", "punch": "Too many serves."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why did the baseball player get arrested?", "punch": "He stole second base."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why are basketball courts always wet?", "punch": "Because the players dribble."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?", "punch": "A bad golfer goes WHACK... dang! A bad skydiver goes dang!... WHACK."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "I asked the marathon runner how the race went.", "punch": "He said it was a long story."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "What does a hockey player have in common with a magician?", "punch": "Hat tricks."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why was the baseball stadium so cool?", "punch": "Because it was full of fans."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "I told my personal trainer I wanted to learn to do the splits.", "punch": "She asked: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "sports", "setup": "Why did the golfer bring an extra sock?", "punch": "In case he got a hole in one."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why do programmers prefer dark mode?", "punch": "Because light attracts bugs."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why did the computer go to the doctor?", "punch": "It caught a virus."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why did the computer show up late to work?", "punch": "It had a hard drive."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why was the smartphone wearing glasses?", "punch": "It lost all its contacts."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "What do you call 8 hobbits?", "punch": "A hobbyte."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why did the developer go broke?", "punch": "He used up all his cache."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why do Java developers wear glasses?", "punch": "Because they don't C#."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "What do you call a computer that sings?", "punch": "A Dell."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "What did the mouse say to the keyboard?", "punch": "You're just my type."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why did the robot go on vacation?", "punch": "He needed to recharge."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "What's a computer's favorite snack?", "punch": "Microchips."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why did the Wi-Fi go to therapy?", "punch": "It felt disconnected."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "How does a computer get drunk?", "punch": "It takes screenshots."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?", "punch": "To get to the other slide."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?", "punch": "None — that's a hardware problem."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why was the JavaScript developer sad?", "punch": "He didn't Node how to Express himself."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "What did the router say to the doctor?", "punch": "It hurts when IP."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "Why do keyboards never sleep?", "punch": "They have two shifts."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "tech", "setup": "I would tell you a UDP joke...", "punch": "...but you might not get it."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Kid: 'Dad, can you put my shoes on?'", "punch": "Dad: 'No, they don't fit me.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Kid: 'Dad, make me a sandwich!'", "punch": "Dad: 'Poof! You're a sandwich.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why did the dad bring a pencil to bed?", "punch": "To draw the curtains."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why did grandpa put wheels on his rocking chair?", "punch": "He wanted to rock and roll."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "What did the mother rope say to the child rope?", "punch": "Don't be knotty."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why did the toddler put sugar under his pillow?", "punch": "He wanted sweet dreams."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Kid: 'Dad, how do I look?'", "punch": "Dad: 'With your eyes.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "I used to play piano by ear.", "punch": "Now I use my hands."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Kid: 'Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?'", "punch": "Dad: 'No sun.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why did the baby strawberry cry?", "punch": "Its parents were in a jam."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Kid: 'I'm cold.'", "punch": "Dad: 'Go stand in the corner — it's 90 degrees.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why did the dad stare at the carton of orange juice?", "punch": "Because it said 'concentrate.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "What did the baby computer call its parent?", "punch": "Data."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why did the cookie cry in kindergarten?", "punch": "His mom had been a wafer too long."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What does a cloud wear under its raincoat?", "punch": "Thunderwear."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What did one raindrop say to the other?", "punch": "Two's company, three's a cloud."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?", "punch": "Fowl weather."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "I tried to catch some fog earlier.", "punch": "I mist."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What does the wind say on Valentine's Day?", "punch": "I'm a big fan of yours."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "Why did the sun go to school?", "punch": "To get brighter."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What falls in winter but never gets hurt?", "punch": "Snow."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "Why did the weather want privacy?", "punch": "It was changing."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What's a tornado's favorite game?", "punch": "Twister."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What do snowmen call their offspring?", "punch": "Chill-dren."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What's a rainbow's favorite accessory?", "punch": "A bow-tie."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "Why don't mountains ever get cold in winter?", "punch": "They wear snowcaps."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What do you get when you leave a dog out in the cold?", "punch": "A chili dog."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "The forecast said it would rain cats and dogs.", "punch": "I went outside and stepped in a poodle."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "How does the moon cut its hair?", "punch": "Eclipse it."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "How do you organize a party in space?", "punch": "You planet."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "Why is the moon always broke?", "punch": "It's down to its last quarter."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "What do you call an alien with three eyes?", "punch": "An aliiien."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?", "punch": "He needed space."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "What kind of music do planets listen to?", "punch": "Neptunes."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "What did Saturn say to Jupiter?", "punch": "Give me a ring sometime."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "What do astronauts use to keep their pants up?", "punch": "An asteroid belt."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "Why aren't astronauts hungry after they blast off?", "punch": "Because they've had a big launch."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?", "punch": "The space bar."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "Why did the cow become an astronaut?", "punch": "To see the moooon."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "What do you call a space magician?", "punch": "A flying saucerer."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel room on the moon?", "punch": "Because it was full."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "space", "setup": "How do astronauts serve their dinner?", "punch": "On flying saucers."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "What do you call a mountain that's really funny?", "punch": "Hill-arious."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Why did the airplane get sent to its room?", "punch": "For bad altitude."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Why did the car apply for a job?", "punch": "It was tired of sitting idle."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "What did the beach say as the tide came in?", "punch": "Long time, no sea."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Where do sharks go on vacation?", "punch": "Fin-land."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Where do pencils go on vacation?", "punch": "Pencil-vania."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "What do you call a train that sneezes?", "punch": "Achoo-choo train."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Why did the man bring a ladder to the airport?", "punch": "He heard the fares were sky high."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Why did the suitcase go to therapy?", "punch": "It had too much baggage."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Where do sick boats go?", "punch": "To the dock."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "What's the fastest country in the world?", "punch": "Rush-a."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "What's the fastest vegetable?", "punch": "A runner bean."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "What did the ocean say to the beach?", "punch": "Nothing — it just waved."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Where do math teachers go on vacation?", "punch": "Times Square."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "travel", "setup": "Why don't calendars ever take a vacation?", "punch": "Their days are numbered."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "Why don't skeletons ever fight each other?", "punch": "They don't have the guts."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What do you call a witch's garage?", "punch": "A broom closet."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "Why did the vampire subscribe to the newspaper?", "punch": "He heard it had great circulation."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What's a ghost's favorite dessert?", "punch": "I scream."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "Why don't mummies take vacations?", "punch": "They're afraid to unwind."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?", "punch": "A cereal killer."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "Why are ghosts such bad liars?", "punch": "You can see right through them."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?", "punch": "Frostbite."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?", "punch": "He had no body to go with him."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What kind of music do mummies listen to?", "punch": "Wrap music."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?", "punch": "Spare ribs."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "Why do witches ride brooms?", "punch": "Vacuum cleaners are too expensive."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What do you call a haunted chicken?", "punch": "A poultry-geist."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "Why did the ghost go to the bar?", "punch": "For the boos."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "How do you make a skeleton laugh?", "punch": "Tickle its funny bone."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "halloween", "setup": "What's a vampire's favorite fruit?", "punch": "A blood orange."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What do you call Santa's little helpers?", "punch": "Subordinate Clauses."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What do you call Santa when he takes a break?", "punch": "Santa Pause."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What do snowmen eat for breakfast?", "punch": "Snowflakes."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What did one snowman say to the other snowman?", "punch": "Do you smell carrots?"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "Why does Santa go down the chimney?", "punch": "Because it soots him."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What do you get when you cross Santa with a duck?", "punch": "A Christmas quacker."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?", "punch": "It needed a trim."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What do elves learn in school?", "punch": "The elf-abet."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What's every parent's favorite Christmas carol?", "punch": "Silent Night."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What do you call an old snowman?", "punch": "Water."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?", "punch": "They always drop their needles."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What does the gingerbread man use to make his bed?", "punch": "Cookie sheets."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?", "punch": "Because he went down in history."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?", "punch": "Freeze a jolly good fellow."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "christmas", "setup": "What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy?", "punch": "Orna-mints."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nBoo.\nBoo who?", "punch": "Don't cry — it's just a joke!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nLettuce.\nLettuce who?", "punch": "Lettuce in, it's freezing out here!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nCargo.\nCargo who?", "punch": "No — car go vroom vroom!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nTank.\nTank who?", "punch": "You're welcome!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nInterrupting cow.\nInterrupting c—", "punch": "MOO!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nHarry.\nHarry who?", "punch": "Harry up and open the door!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nOlive.\nOlive who?", "punch": "Olive you and I miss you!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nCandice.\nCandice who?", "punch": "Candice door open, or what?"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nAtch.\nAtch who?", "punch": "Bless you!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nAmish.\nAmish who?", "punch": "Aww — I miss you too!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nEurope.\nEurope who?", "punch": "No, YOU'RE a poo!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nJustin.\nJustin who?", "punch": "Justin time for dinner!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nDwayne.\nDwayne who?", "punch": "Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nKen.\nKen who?", "punch": "Ken you open the door, please?"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nAlpaca.\nAlpaca who?", "punch": "Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nAnita.\nAnita who?", "punch": "Anita borrow your pencil!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nGorilla.\nGorilla who?", "punch": "Gorilla cheese sandwich for me, I'm starving!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nNobel.\nNobel who?", "punch": "No bell — that's why I knocked!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nDoris.\nDoris who?", "punch": "Doris locked — that's why I'm knocking!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "knock-knock", "type": "knock", "setup": "Knock knock.\nWho's there?\nAardvark.\nAardvark who?", "punch": "Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!"},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.", "punch": "I just can't put it down."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I used to hate facial hair.", "punch": "Then it grew on me."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What's brown and sticky?", "punch": "A stick."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.", "punch": "She looked surprised."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I don't trust stairs.", "punch": "They're always up to something."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I'm on a seafood diet.", "punch": "I see food and I eat it."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?", "punch": "Sofishticated."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.", "punch": "Then it dawned on me."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I'd tell you a construction joke...", "punch": "...but I'm still working on it."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I know a lot of jokes about retired people.", "punch": "Sadly, none of them work."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I ordered a chicken and an egg from an online store.", "punch": "I'll let you know."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What time did the man go to the dentist?", "punch": "Tooth hurty."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?", "punch": "It's fine — he woke up."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?", "punch": "A stick."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.", "punch": "I don't know y."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?", "punch": "Great food, no atmosphere."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why do we tell actors to 'break a leg'?", "punch": "Because every play has a cast."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What do you call a factory that makes okay products?", "punch": "A satisfactory."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Dear algebra,", "punch": "Stop asking us to find your X. She's never coming back — and don't ask Y."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?", "punch": "I don't know and I don't care."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I asked my dog what's two minus two.", "punch": "He said nothing."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?", "punch": "A receding hare-line."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?", "punch": "A dino-snore."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What do you call a man with a rubber toe?", "punch": "Roberto."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why did the two 4s skip dinner?", "punch": "They already 8."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What do you call a sheep with no legs?", "punch": "A cloud."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why did the picture go to jail?", "punch": "Because it was framed."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What did the man say when he walked into a bar?", "punch": "Ouch."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why did the man fall down the well?", "punch": "He couldn't see that well."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What's red and bad for your teeth?", "punch": "A brick."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why was 6 afraid of 7?", "punch": "Because 7 8 9."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What did the zero say to the eight?", "punch": "Nice belt."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?", "punch": "Because then it would be a foot."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I'm terrified of elevators.", "punch": "So I'm taking steps to avoid them."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why don't scientists trust atoms?", "punch": "Because they make up everything."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?", "punch": "Make me one with everything."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What do you call a sad cup of coffee?", "punch": "A depres-so."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "How do coffee cups show their love?", "punch": "With mugs and kisses."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Where do coffee beans go for a night out?", "punch": "The coffee bar."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why was the espresso checking its watch?", "punch": "It was pressed for time."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What's a coffee's favorite magic spell?", "punch": "Espresso Patronum!"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why don't coffees ever gossip?", "punch": "They don't want to spill the beans."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "How does coffee show it cares?", "punch": "It gives you a latte attention."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a pile of kittens?", "punch": "A meow-ntain."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?", "punch": "Too many cheetahs."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What's a cat's favorite dessert?", "punch": "Mice cream."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why did the cat sit on the computer?", "punch": "To keep an eye on the mouse."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What do you call a cat that works at a hospital?", "punch": "A purr-fessional."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "How do cats end a fight?", "punch": "They hiss and make up."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why is everyone so excited about the cat's new job?", "punch": "Because it's feline good."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why did the dog cross the road?", "punch": "To get to the barking lot."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What kind of dog loves surround sound?", "punch": "A subwoofer."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why do dogs run in circles?", "punch": "Because it's too hard to run in squares."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What's a dog's favorite instrument?", "punch": "The trom-BONE."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "How did the puppy feel after finishing its homework?", "punch": "Ruff."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "Why did the dachshund sit by the fire?", "punch": "It was a cold dog."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "animals", "setup": "What breed of dog can jump higher than a house?", "punch": "Any breed — houses can't jump."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why did the penny get promoted?", "punch": "It made perfect cents."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "What do you call a rich fish?", "punch": "A goldfish."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why did the dollar bill break up with the coin?", "punch": "It needed some change."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "What happened to the man who put $20 into a vending machine?", "punch": "Nothing — he's still waiting for his two cents."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Why was the money exhausted?", "punch": "It was spent."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "work", "setup": "Where do cows invest their money?", "punch": "In moo-tual funds."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "What's a nap's favorite kind of movie?", "punch": "A sleeper hit."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why did the pillow go to the doctor?", "punch": "It was feeling down."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why are blankets so good at ending arguments?", "punch": "They know how to wrap things up."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "I'm great at sleeping.", "punch": "I can do it with my eyes closed."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "one-liners", "type": "line", "setup": "Why was everyone so tired on the morning of April 1st?", "punch": "They'd just finished a 31-day March."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why did the two antennas get married?", "punch": "The ceremony was okay, but the reception was excellent."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "What did the paper clip say to the magnet?", "punch": "I find you very attractive."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "What's the most romantic part about the ocean?", "punch": "When the buoy meets gull."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Kid: 'Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?'", "punch": "Dad: 'Sure — February 14th.'"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.", "punch": "I had to put my foot down."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why do candles love birthdays?", "punch": "They get to be the light of the party."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "What did the elephant want for its birthday?", "punch": "A trunk full of presents."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?", "punch": "It was marble cake."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "What does a clam do on its birthday?", "punch": "It shellabrates."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "family", "setup": "What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?", "punch": "Aye matey!"},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What does an aardvark like on its pizza?", "punch": "Ant-chovies."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza?", "punch": "He ate it before it was cool."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What kind of pizza do dogs order?", "punch": "Pup-peroni."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "food", "setup": "What's the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?", "punch": "The pizza can actually feed a family."},
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "How does a snowman get around town?", "punch": "On an icicle."},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "What did the icy road say to the truck?", "punch": "Want to go for a spin?"},
|
||||||
|
{"cat": "weather", "setup": "How do you prevent a summer cold?", "punch": "Catch it in the winter."}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
41
deploy.sh
Executable file
41
deploy.sh
Executable file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,41 @@
|
||||||
|
#!/usr/bin/env bash
|
||||||
|
# Build sites and sync docroots IN PLACE (no dir swap: hostPath mounts bind to
|
||||||
|
# the directory inode, so replacing the dir would leave pods serving a stale
|
||||||
|
# path). Routing/TLS are handled by Traefik + cert-manager; no reloads needed.
|
||||||
|
set -euo pipefail
|
||||||
|
cd "$(dirname "$0")"
|
||||||
|
BASE=/home/opc/zai-home-base
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
echo "==> building site"
|
||||||
|
python3 build.py
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
mkdir -p "$BASE/sites/bestdadjokes"
|
||||||
|
if command -v getenforce >/dev/null 2>&1 && [ "$(getenforce)" = "Enforcing" ]; then
|
||||||
|
chcon -Rt container_file_t "$BASE/sites/bestdadjokes" 2>/dev/null || true
|
||||||
|
fi
|
||||||
|
rsync -a --delete site/ "$BASE/sites/bestdadjokes/"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
echo "==> verifying through Traefik (origin)"
|
||||||
|
sleep 1
|
||||||
|
for host in bestdadjokes.lol www.bestdadjokes.lol myadhd.dev; do
|
||||||
|
code=$(curl -sk -o /dev/null -w '%{http_code}' --resolve "$host:443:127.0.0.1" "https://$host/" --max-time 10)
|
||||||
|
echo " https://$host -> $code (origin)"
|
||||||
|
done
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
echo "==> asset smoke checks"
|
||||||
|
fail=0
|
||||||
|
hp=$(curl -sk --resolve bestdadjokes.lol:443:127.0.0.1 https://bestdadjokes.lol/ --max-time 10)
|
||||||
|
echo "$hp" | grep -q 'rel="stylesheet"' || { echo " FAIL: stylesheet not linked in homepage"; fail=1; }
|
||||||
|
for asset in /static/style.css /static/main.js /static/jokes-data.js /static/favicon.svg; do
|
||||||
|
out=$(curl -sk -o /dev/null -w '%{http_code} %{content_type}' --resolve bestdadjokes.lol:443:127.0.0.1 "https://bestdadjokes.lol$asset" --max-time 10)
|
||||||
|
echo " $asset -> $out"
|
||||||
|
case "$out" in 200*) ;; *) fail=1 ;; esac
|
||||||
|
done
|
||||||
|
# every referenced local asset must exist (catches missing files)
|
||||||
|
echo "$hp" | grep -oE '(src|href)="/[^"]+"' | sed -E 's/(src|href)="([^"]+)"/\2/' | sort -u | while read -r ref; do
|
||||||
|
case "$ref" in //*) continue ;; esac
|
||||||
|
code=$(curl -sk -o /dev/null -w '%{http_code}' --resolve bestdadjokes.lol:443:127.0.0.1 "https://bestdadjokes.lol$ref" --max-time 10)
|
||||||
|
[ "$code" = "200" ] || echo " WARN: referenced asset $ref -> $code"
|
||||||
|
done
|
||||||
|
[ "$fail" = "0" ] || { echo "==> DEPLOY FAILED ASSET CHECKS"; exit 1; }
|
||||||
|
echo "==> deploy complete"
|
||||||
25
k8s/letsencrypt-issuer.yaml
Normal file
25
k8s/letsencrypt-issuer.yaml
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
|
||||||
|
# Let's Encrypt via cert-manager, DNS-01 through the Cloudflare API token.
|
||||||
|
# The token lives in Secret cert-manager/cloudflare-api-token (created out-of-band
|
||||||
|
# via `kubectl create secret ... --from-file=api-token=...`; never committed).
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: cert-manager.io/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: ClusterIssuer
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: letsencrypt-prod
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
acme:
|
||||||
|
server: https://acme-v02.api.letsencrypt.org/directory
|
||||||
|
email: hello@bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
privateKeySecretRef:
|
||||||
|
name: letsencrypt-prod-account-key
|
||||||
|
solvers:
|
||||||
|
- dns01:
|
||||||
|
cloudflare:
|
||||||
|
apiTokenSecretRef:
|
||||||
|
name: cloudflare-api-token
|
||||||
|
key: api-token
|
||||||
|
selector:
|
||||||
|
dnsZones:
|
||||||
|
- bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
- myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
- helpme.tips
|
||||||
|
- ch4t.buzz
|
||||||
262
k8s/static-sites.yaml
Normal file
262
k8s/static-sites.yaml
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,262 @@
|
||||||
|
# Static site fleet: one nginx Deployment + Service + Ingress + Certificate per site.
|
||||||
|
# Docroots come from hostPath /home/opc/zai-home-base/sites/<site> (built by deploy scripts).
|
||||||
|
# Edge routing/TLS: Traefik (80/443) + cert-manager Let's Encrypt secrets.
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: v1
|
||||||
|
kind: ConfigMap
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: static-nginx-conf
|
||||||
|
data:
|
||||||
|
nginx.conf: |
|
||||||
|
worker_processes 1;
|
||||||
|
error_log /dev/stderr warn;
|
||||||
|
pid /run/nginx.pid;
|
||||||
|
events { worker_connections 1024; }
|
||||||
|
http {
|
||||||
|
include /etc/nginx/mime.types;
|
||||||
|
default_type application/octet-stream;
|
||||||
|
access_log /dev/stdout;
|
||||||
|
sendfile on;
|
||||||
|
gzip on;
|
||||||
|
gzip_types text/plain text/css application/javascript application/json application/xml image/svg+xml;
|
||||||
|
gzip_min_length 1024;
|
||||||
|
server {
|
||||||
|
listen 80;
|
||||||
|
root /usr/share/nginx/html;
|
||||||
|
index index.html;
|
||||||
|
error_page 404 /404.html;
|
||||||
|
add_header X-Content-Type-Options nosniff always;
|
||||||
|
add_header Referrer-Policy strict-origin-when-cross-origin always;
|
||||||
|
location ~* \.(css|js|svg|png|jpg|ico|woff2?)$ {
|
||||||
|
expires 7d;
|
||||||
|
add_header Cache-Control "public";
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
location / {
|
||||||
|
try_files $uri $uri/ $uri/index.html =404;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
# ---------------- bestdadjokes.lol ----------------
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: apps/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Deployment
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: static-bdj
|
||||||
|
labels:
|
||||||
|
site: bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
replicas: 1
|
||||||
|
selector:
|
||||||
|
matchLabels:
|
||||||
|
site: bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
template:
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
labels:
|
||||||
|
site: bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
nodeSelector:
|
||||||
|
kubernetes.io/hostname: djg-oracle-sl
|
||||||
|
tolerations:
|
||||||
|
- key: node-role.kubernetes.io/master
|
||||||
|
operator: Exists
|
||||||
|
effect: NoSchedule
|
||||||
|
- key: node-role.kubernetes.io/control-plane
|
||||||
|
operator: Exists
|
||||||
|
effect: NoSchedule
|
||||||
|
containers:
|
||||||
|
- name: nginx
|
||||||
|
image: nginx:alpine
|
||||||
|
volumeMounts:
|
||||||
|
- name: conf
|
||||||
|
mountPath: /etc/nginx/nginx.conf
|
||||||
|
subPath: nginx.conf
|
||||||
|
readOnly: true
|
||||||
|
- name: html
|
||||||
|
mountPath: /usr/share/nginx/html
|
||||||
|
readOnly: true
|
||||||
|
resources:
|
||||||
|
requests:
|
||||||
|
cpu: 20m
|
||||||
|
memory: 32Mi
|
||||||
|
limits:
|
||||||
|
memory: 128Mi
|
||||||
|
readinessProbe:
|
||||||
|
httpGet: {path: /, port: 80}
|
||||||
|
initialDelaySeconds: 2
|
||||||
|
periodSeconds: 20
|
||||||
|
volumes:
|
||||||
|
- name: conf
|
||||||
|
configMap:
|
||||||
|
name: static-nginx-conf
|
||||||
|
- name: html
|
||||||
|
hostPath:
|
||||||
|
path: /home/opc/zai-home-base/sites/bestdadjokes
|
||||||
|
type: Directory
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Service
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: static-bdj
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
selector:
|
||||||
|
site: bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
ports:
|
||||||
|
- port: 80
|
||||||
|
targetPort: 80
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: networking.k8s.io/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Ingress
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: bestdadjokes
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
rules:
|
||||||
|
- host: bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
http:
|
||||||
|
paths:
|
||||||
|
- path: /
|
||||||
|
pathType: Prefix
|
||||||
|
backend:
|
||||||
|
service:
|
||||||
|
name: static-bdj
|
||||||
|
port:
|
||||||
|
number: 80
|
||||||
|
- host: www.bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
http:
|
||||||
|
paths:
|
||||||
|
- path: /
|
||||||
|
pathType: Prefix
|
||||||
|
backend:
|
||||||
|
service:
|
||||||
|
name: static-bdj
|
||||||
|
port:
|
||||||
|
number: 80
|
||||||
|
tls:
|
||||||
|
- hosts:
|
||||||
|
- bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
- www.bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
secretName: bestdadjokes-tls
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: cert-manager.io/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Certificate
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: bestdadjokes-lol
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
secretName: bestdadjokes-tls
|
||||||
|
issuerRef:
|
||||||
|
name: letsencrypt-prod
|
||||||
|
kind: ClusterIssuer
|
||||||
|
dnsNames:
|
||||||
|
- bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
- www.bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
# ---------------- myadhd.dev (placeholder) ----------------
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: apps/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Deployment
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: static-adhd
|
||||||
|
labels:
|
||||||
|
site: myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
replicas: 1
|
||||||
|
selector:
|
||||||
|
matchLabels:
|
||||||
|
site: myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
template:
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
labels:
|
||||||
|
site: myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
nodeSelector:
|
||||||
|
kubernetes.io/hostname: djg-oracle-sl
|
||||||
|
tolerations:
|
||||||
|
- key: node-role.kubernetes.io/master
|
||||||
|
operator: Exists
|
||||||
|
effect: NoSchedule
|
||||||
|
- key: node-role.kubernetes.io/control-plane
|
||||||
|
operator: Exists
|
||||||
|
effect: NoSchedule
|
||||||
|
containers:
|
||||||
|
- name: nginx
|
||||||
|
image: nginx:alpine
|
||||||
|
volumeMounts:
|
||||||
|
- name: conf
|
||||||
|
mountPath: /etc/nginx/nginx.conf
|
||||||
|
subPath: nginx.conf
|
||||||
|
readOnly: true
|
||||||
|
- name: html
|
||||||
|
mountPath: /usr/share/nginx/html
|
||||||
|
readOnly: true
|
||||||
|
resources:
|
||||||
|
requests:
|
||||||
|
cpu: 20m
|
||||||
|
memory: 32Mi
|
||||||
|
limits:
|
||||||
|
memory: 128Mi
|
||||||
|
readinessProbe:
|
||||||
|
httpGet: {path: /, port: 80}
|
||||||
|
initialDelaySeconds: 2
|
||||||
|
periodSeconds: 20
|
||||||
|
volumes:
|
||||||
|
- name: conf
|
||||||
|
configMap:
|
||||||
|
name: static-nginx-conf
|
||||||
|
- name: html
|
||||||
|
hostPath:
|
||||||
|
path: /home/opc/zai-home-base/sites/myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
type: Directory
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Service
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: static-adhd
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
selector:
|
||||||
|
site: myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
ports:
|
||||||
|
- port: 80
|
||||||
|
targetPort: 80
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: networking.k8s.io/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Ingress
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: myadhd
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
rules:
|
||||||
|
- host: myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
http:
|
||||||
|
paths:
|
||||||
|
- path: /
|
||||||
|
pathType: Prefix
|
||||||
|
backend:
|
||||||
|
service:
|
||||||
|
name: static-adhd
|
||||||
|
port:
|
||||||
|
number: 80
|
||||||
|
- host: www.myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
http:
|
||||||
|
paths:
|
||||||
|
- path: /
|
||||||
|
pathType: Prefix
|
||||||
|
backend:
|
||||||
|
service:
|
||||||
|
name: static-adhd
|
||||||
|
port:
|
||||||
|
number: 80
|
||||||
|
tls:
|
||||||
|
- hosts:
|
||||||
|
- myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
- www.myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
secretName: myadhd-tls
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: cert-manager.io/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: Certificate
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: myadhd-dev
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
secretName: myadhd-tls
|
||||||
|
issuerRef:
|
||||||
|
name: letsencrypt-prod
|
||||||
|
kind: ClusterIssuer
|
||||||
|
dnsNames:
|
||||||
|
- myadhd.dev
|
||||||
|
- www.myadhd.dev
|
||||||
113
k8s/traefik.yaml
Normal file
113
k8s/traefik.yaml
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,113 @@
|
||||||
|
# Traefik v2.11 LTS as the cluster edge: hostNetwork 80/443, global http->https redirect.
|
||||||
|
# TLS: entrypoint terminates TLS; certificates provisioned by cert-manager
|
||||||
|
# (Let's Encrypt DNS-01 via Cloudflare) into the Ingress TLS secrets.
|
||||||
|
# NOTE: --entrypoints.websecure.http.tls=true is REQUIRED — without it TLS
|
||||||
|
# routers never engage the mux and every HTTPS request 404s.
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: v1
|
||||||
|
kind: ServiceAccount
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: traefik
|
||||||
|
namespace: kube-system
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: rbac.authorization.k8s.io/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: ClusterRole
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: traefik
|
||||||
|
rules:
|
||||||
|
- apiGroups: [""]
|
||||||
|
resources: ["services", "endpoints", "secrets", "namespaces", "nodes"]
|
||||||
|
verbs: ["get", "list", "watch"]
|
||||||
|
- apiGroups: ["discovery.k8s.io"]
|
||||||
|
resources: ["endpointslices"]
|
||||||
|
verbs: ["get", "list", "watch"]
|
||||||
|
- apiGroups: ["networking.k8s.io"]
|
||||||
|
resources: ["ingresses", "ingressclasses"]
|
||||||
|
verbs: ["get", "list", "watch"]
|
||||||
|
- apiGroups: ["networking.k8s.io"]
|
||||||
|
resources: ["ingresses/status"]
|
||||||
|
verbs: ["update"]
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: rbac.authorization.k8s.io/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: ClusterRoleBinding
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: traefik
|
||||||
|
roleRef:
|
||||||
|
apiGroup: rbac.authorization.k8s.io
|
||||||
|
kind: ClusterRole
|
||||||
|
name: traefik
|
||||||
|
subjects:
|
||||||
|
- kind: ServiceAccount
|
||||||
|
name: traefik
|
||||||
|
namespace: kube-system
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
apiVersion: apps/v1
|
||||||
|
kind: DaemonSet
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
name: traefik
|
||||||
|
namespace: kube-system
|
||||||
|
labels:
|
||||||
|
app: traefik
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
selector:
|
||||||
|
matchLabels:
|
||||||
|
app: traefik
|
||||||
|
template:
|
||||||
|
metadata:
|
||||||
|
labels:
|
||||||
|
app: traefik
|
||||||
|
spec:
|
||||||
|
serviceAccountName: traefik
|
||||||
|
hostNetwork: true
|
||||||
|
dnsPolicy: ClusterFirstWithHostNet
|
||||||
|
nodeSelector:
|
||||||
|
kubernetes.io/hostname: djg-oracle-sl
|
||||||
|
tolerations:
|
||||||
|
- key: node-role.kubernetes.io/master
|
||||||
|
operator: Exists
|
||||||
|
effect: NoSchedule
|
||||||
|
- key: node-role.kubernetes.io/control-plane
|
||||||
|
operator: Exists
|
||||||
|
effect: NoSchedule
|
||||||
|
containers:
|
||||||
|
- name: traefik
|
||||||
|
image: traefik:v2.11.2
|
||||||
|
args:
|
||||||
|
- --providers.kubernetesingress
|
||||||
|
- --providers.kubernetescrd=false
|
||||||
|
- --entrypoints.web.address=:80
|
||||||
|
- --entrypoints.web.http.redirections.entrypoint.to=websecure
|
||||||
|
- --entrypoints.web.http.redirections.entrypoint.scheme=https
|
||||||
|
- --entrypoints.websecure.address=:443
|
||||||
|
- --entrypoints.websecure.http.tls=true
|
||||||
|
- --log.level=WARN
|
||||||
|
ports:
|
||||||
|
- containerPort: 80
|
||||||
|
hostPort: 80
|
||||||
|
protocol: TCP
|
||||||
|
- containerPort: 443
|
||||||
|
hostPort: 443
|
||||||
|
protocol: TCP
|
||||||
|
resources:
|
||||||
|
requests:
|
||||||
|
cpu: 50m
|
||||||
|
memory: 64Mi
|
||||||
|
limits:
|
||||||
|
memory: 256Mi
|
||||||
|
readinessProbe:
|
||||||
|
httpGet:
|
||||||
|
path: /
|
||||||
|
port: 80
|
||||||
|
httpHeaders:
|
||||||
|
- name: Host
|
||||||
|
value: bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
initialDelaySeconds: 5
|
||||||
|
periodSeconds: 15
|
||||||
|
livenessProbe:
|
||||||
|
httpGet:
|
||||||
|
path: /
|
||||||
|
port: 80
|
||||||
|
httpHeaders:
|
||||||
|
- name: Host
|
||||||
|
value: bestdadjokes.lol
|
||||||
|
initialDelaySeconds: 15
|
||||||
|
periodSeconds: 30
|
||||||
83
site/404.html
Normal file
83
site/404.html
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,83 @@
|
||||||
|
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="utf-8">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
|
||||||
|
<title>404 — Page Not Found</title>
|
||||||
|
<meta name="description" content="Page not found. The joke is on us.">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="canonical" href="https://bestdadjokes.lol/404.html">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="icon" href="/static/favicon.svg" type="image/svg+xml">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Dad Joke of the Day" href="/rss.xml">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="Best Dad Jokes">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:title" content="404 — Page Not Found">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Page not found. The joke is on us.">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:type" content="website">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:url" content="https://bestdadjokes.lol/404.html">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="twitter:card" content="summary">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/static/style.css">
|
||||||
|
<style>:root{--brand:#e4572e;--brand2:#f5a623;--ink:#2b2118;--cream:#fff8ec;--card:#ffffff}</style>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<header class="site-header">
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap header-row">
|
||||||
|
<a class="logo" href="/">😂 <strong>Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes</strong><em>.lol</em></a>
|
||||||
|
<input type="checkbox" id="navtoggle" class="navtoggle">
|
||||||
|
<label for="navtoggle" class="navburger" aria-label="Menu">☰</label>
|
||||||
|
<nav class="site-nav">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/" >Home</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/" >Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/joke-of-the-day/" >Joke of the Day</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/search/" >Search</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/about/" >About</a>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap catbar">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</header>
|
||||||
|
<main>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow center">
|
||||||
|
<h1>404</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">This page is like a dad joke that got cut from the site — it just didn't land.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-card">
|
||||||
|
<p class="joke-setup">Why did the web page go to therapy?</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It had too many broken links.</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p><a class="btn" href="/">Take me home →</a></p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</main>
|
||||||
|
<footer class="site-footer">
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-grid">
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">More</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/joke-of-the-day/">Joke of the Day</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/search/">Search Jokes</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/rss.xml">RSS Feed</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/api/v1/random.json">Free JSON API</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/about/">About</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/contact/">Contact</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/privacy-policy/">Privacy Policy</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/terms/">Terms</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-base">
|
||||||
|
<p>© 2026 Best Dad Jokes · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/jokes-data.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/main.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
88
site/about/index.html
Normal file
88
site/about/index.html
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,88 @@
|
||||||
|
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="utf-8">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
|
||||||
|
<title>About — Best Dad Jokes .lol</title>
|
||||||
|
<meta name="description" content="BestDadJokes.lol is a curated collection of clean, funny dad jokes. Hand-picked jokes, family-friendly humor, zero nonsense.">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="canonical" href="https://bestdadjokes.lol/about/">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="icon" href="/static/favicon.svg" type="image/svg+xml">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Dad Joke of the Day" href="/rss.xml">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="Best Dad Jokes">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:title" content="About — Best Dad Jokes .lol">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:description" content="BestDadJokes.lol is a curated collection of clean, funny dad jokes. Hand-picked jokes, family-friendly humor, zero nonsense.">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:type" content="website">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:url" content="https://bestdadjokes.lol/about/">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="twitter:card" content="summary">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/static/style.css">
|
||||||
|
<style>:root{--brand:#e4572e;--brand2:#f5a623;--ink:#2b2118;--cream:#fff8ec;--card:#ffffff}</style>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<header class="site-header">
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap header-row">
|
||||||
|
<a class="logo" href="/">😂 <strong>Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes</strong><em>.lol</em></a>
|
||||||
|
<input type="checkbox" id="navtoggle" class="navtoggle">
|
||||||
|
<label for="navtoggle" class="navburger" aria-label="Menu">☰</label>
|
||||||
|
<nav class="site-nav">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/" >Home</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/" >Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/joke-of-the-day/" >Joke of the Day</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/search/" >Search</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/about/" class="on">About</a>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap catbar">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</header>
|
||||||
|
<main>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>👋 About Best Dad Jokes</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p>Welcome to <strong>BestDadJokes.lol</strong> — a growing collection of the internet's best dad jokes: short, clean, pun-heavy, and delivered with the quiet confidence only a dad can muster.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>The mission is simple: build the most useful dad joke resource on the internet. That means:</p>
|
||||||
|
<ul class="plain-list">
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Curated, not scraped.</strong> Every joke is hand-picked for maximum groan. If it doesn't make someone audibly sigh, it doesn't make the cut.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Family-friendly, always.</strong> Clean humor that's safe to tell at the dinner table, the office, or the school pickup line.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Fast and simple.</strong> No pop-ups, no logins, no nonsense. Just jokes.</li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Why dad jokes?</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Because a dad joke is never just a joke. It's a love language. It's saying "I would rather embarrass myself than miss a chance to make you laugh." Also, they're free, and this is a budget operation.</p>
|
||||||
|
<h2>Get in touch</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>Got a joke that deserves to be here? Found a bug? Want to license 300 dad jokes for your family group chat? Head to the <a href="/contact/">contact page</a>.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</main>
|
||||||
|
<footer class="site-footer">
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-grid">
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">More</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/joke-of-the-day/">Joke of the Day</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/search/">Search Jokes</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/rss.xml">RSS Feed</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/api/v1/random.json">Free JSON API</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/about/">About</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/contact/">Contact</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/privacy-policy/">Privacy Policy</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/terms/">Terms</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-base">
|
||||||
|
<p>© 2026 Best Dad Jokes · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/jokes-data.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/main.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
1
site/api/v1/random.json
Normal file
1
site/api/v1/random.json
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
||||||
|
{"setup": "What do you call 8 hobbits?", "punchline": "A hobbyte.", "type": "qa", "category": "tech", "source": "https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/tech/#joke-114"}
|
||||||
1
site/api/v1/today.json
Normal file
1
site/api/v1/today.json
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1 @@
|
||||||
|
{"setup": "I don't trust stairs.", "punchline": "They're always up to something.", "type": "line", "category": "one-liners", "source": "https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/one-liners/#joke-241"}
|
||||||
84
site/category/animals/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/animals/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/christmas/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/christmas/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/family/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/family/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/food/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/food/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/halloween/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/halloween/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/knock-knock/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/knock-knock/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/one-liners/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/one-liners/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/school/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/school/index.html
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
84
site/category/space/index.html
Normal file
84
site/category/space/index.html
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,84 @@
|
||||||
|
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="utf-8">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
|
||||||
|
<title>Space Dad Jokes — 14 Funny, Clean Space Dad Jokes</title>
|
||||||
|
<meta name="description" content="Out-of-this-world jokes — no astronaut training required. Browse 14 jokes, all clean and all terrible. Perfect for dads, teachers and any occasion that needs a groan.">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="canonical" href="https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/space/">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="icon" href="/static/favicon.svg" type="image/svg+xml">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Dad Joke of the Day" href="/rss.xml">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="Best Dad Jokes">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:title" content="Space Dad Jokes — 14 Funny, Clean Space Dad Jokes">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Out-of-this-world jokes — no astronaut training required. Browse 14 jokes, all clean and all terrible. Perfect for dads, teachers and any occasion that needs a groan.">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:type" content="website">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:url" content="https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/space/">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="twitter:card" content="summary">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/static/style.css">
|
||||||
|
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<h1>🚀 Space Dad Jokes</h1>
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<p class="page-sub">Out-of-this-world jokes — no astronaut training required. That's 14 jokes of pure dad energy.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-157"><p class="joke-setup">How does the moon cut its hair?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Eclipse it.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="157">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="157">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-158"><p class="joke-setup">How do you organize a party in space?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>You planet.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="158">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="158">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-159"><p class="joke-setup">Why is the moon always broke?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It's down to its last quarter.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="159">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="159">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-160"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call an alien with three eyes?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>An aliiien.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="160">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="160">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-161"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>He needed space.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="161">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="161">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-162"><p class="joke-setup">What kind of music do planets listen to?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Neptunes.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="162">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="162">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-163"><p class="joke-setup">What did Saturn say to Jupiter?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Give me a ring sometime.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="163">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="163">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-164"><p class="joke-setup">What do astronauts use to keep their pants up?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>An asteroid belt.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="164">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="164">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-165"><p class="joke-setup">Why aren't astronauts hungry after they blast off?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Because they've had a big launch.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="165">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="165">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-166"><p class="joke-setup">What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>The space bar.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="166">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="166">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-167"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the cow become an astronaut?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>To see the moooon.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="167">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="167">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-168"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call a space magician?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A flying saucerer.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="168">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="168">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-169"><p class="joke-setup">Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel room on the moon?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Because it was full.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="169">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="169">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-170"><p class="joke-setup">How do astronauts serve their dinner?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>On flying saucers.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="170">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="170">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
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|
<div class="hero-btns">
|
||||||
|
<button class="btn" data-gen-next>🎲 Generate dad joke</button>
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<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-gen-copy>📋 Copy</button>
|
||||||
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<button class="btn btn-ghost" data-gen-share>🖼️ Share as image</button>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<h2>How to weaponize a dad joke</h2>
|
||||||
|
<ol class="plain-list">
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Deliver with confidence.</strong> Eye contact is everything. The dad joke fears hesitation.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Pause before the punchline.</strong> Let the suspense marinate. Then pounce.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Ignore the groans.</strong> The groan is applause in dad dialect.</li>
|
||||||
|
<li><strong>Repeat the best ones.</strong> Repetition builds tradition. Tradition builds groans.</li>
|
||||||
|
</ol>
|
||||||
|
<p>Looking for something specific? <a href="/search/">Search all dad jokes</a> or browse by <a href="/#all-cats">category</a>.</p>
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<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
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<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
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<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
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<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
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<p class="foot-h">More</p>
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<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
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<p>© 2026 Best Dad Jokes · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
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<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
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<main>
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<section class="hero wrap">
|
||||||
|
<h1>The Best Dad Jokes on the Internet</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="hero-sub">Short. Clean. Painfully punny. 322+ jokes your kids don't want to hear but absolutely need to.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-card">
|
||||||
|
<p class="joke-setup" data-hero-setup>Who's the king of all school supplies?</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-punch" data-hero-punch>The ruler.</div>
|
||||||
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<div class="hero-btns">
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<button class="btn" data-hero-next>🎲 Another one</button>
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<p class="jod-label">😄 Dad Joke of the Day</p>
|
||||||
|
<p class="joke-setup">I don't trust stairs.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They're always up to something.</div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="jod-more"><a href="/joke-of-the-day/">See the archive →</a></p>
|
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</section>
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<section class="wrap" id="all-cats">
|
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<h2>Browse Dad Jokes by Category</h2>
|
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<div class="cat-grid">
|
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<a class="cat-card" href="/category/animals/">
|
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<span class="cat-emoji">🦝</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Animal Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
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<span class="cat-count">43 jokes</span>
|
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</a>
|
||||||
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<a class="cat-card" href="/category/food/">
|
||||||
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<span class="cat-emoji">🍕</span>
|
||||||
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<span class="cat-name">Food Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
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<span class="cat-count">36 jokes</span>
|
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</a>
|
||||||
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<a class="cat-card" href="/category/work/">
|
||||||
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<span class="cat-emoji">💼</span>
|
||||||
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<span class="cat-name">Work & Office Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
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<span class="cat-count">26 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/school/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">🎒</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">21 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/sports/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">⚽</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Sports Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">15 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/tech/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">💻</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">19 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/family/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">👨👩👧</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">24 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/weather/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">⛅</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Weather Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">17 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/space/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">🚀</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Space Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">14 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/travel/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">✈️</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">15 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/halloween/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">🎃</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Halloween Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">16 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/christmas/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">🎄</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Christmas Dad Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">15 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/knock-knock/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">🚪</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Knock-Knock Jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">20 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a class="cat-card" href="/category/one-liners/">
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-emoji">🎤</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-name">Dad Joke One-Liners</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="cat-count">41 jokes</span>
|
||||||
|
</a></div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section class="wrap" id="topics">
|
||||||
|
<h2>Popular Dad Joke Topics</h2>
|
||||||
|
<div class="chips">
|
||||||
|
<a class="chip" href="/topic/coffee/">☕ Coffee</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/cats/">🐱 Cats</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/dogs/">🐕 Dogs</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/cows/">🐄 Cows</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/money/">💰 Money</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/sleep/">😴 Sleep</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/love/">❤️ Love</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/birthday/">🎂 Birthday Jokes</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/winter/">⛄ Winter Jokes</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- AD_SLOT_MID -->
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section class="wrap">
|
||||||
|
<h2>Fresh Out of the Dad Oven</h2>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-321"><p class="joke-setup">How do you prevent a summer cold?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Catch it in the winter.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="321">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="321">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-320"><p class="joke-setup">What did the icy road say to the truck?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Want to go for a spin?</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="320">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="320">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-319"><p class="joke-setup">How does a snowman get around town?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>On an icicle.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="319">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="319">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-318"><p class="joke-setup">What's the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>The pizza can actually feed a family.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="318">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="318">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-317"><p class="joke-setup">What kind of pizza do dogs order?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Pup-peroni.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="317">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="317">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-316"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>He ate it before it was cool.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="316">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="316">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-315"><p class="joke-setup">What does an aardvark like on its pizza?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Ant-chovies.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="315">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="315">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-314"><p class="joke-setup">What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Aye matey!</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="314">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="314">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-313"><p class="joke-setup">What does a clam do on its birthday?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It shellabrates.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="313">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="313">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-312"><p class="joke-setup">Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was marble cake.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="312">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="312">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-311"><p class="joke-setup">What did the elephant want for its birthday?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A trunk full of presents.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="311">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="311">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-310"><p class="joke-setup">Why do candles love birthdays?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They get to be the light of the party.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="310">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="310">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="center-link"><a class="btn" href="/dad-joke-generator/">Open the Dad Joke Generator →</a></p>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section class="wrap seo-blurb">
|
||||||
|
<h2>What is a dad joke?</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>A dad joke is a short, clean, pun-based joke delivered with maximum confidence and zero shame. It's the kind of joke that makes your kids groan, your wife roll her eyes, and your dog leave the room. Science has yet to explain why hearing one makes you feel briefly smarter and visibly worse at the same time.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>This site is a growing collection of the best dad jokes on the internet: one-liners, knock-knock jokes, and puns about animals, food, work, school, sports, tech, space and more. Every joke is family-friendly — the only thing at risk of injury is everyone's patience. Start with the <a href="/dad-joke-generator/">dad joke generator</a>, browse the <a href="#all-cats">categories</a>, or come back every day for a new <a href="/joke-of-the-day/">dad joke of the day</a>.</p>
|
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|
</section>
|
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|
</main>
|
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|
<footer class="site-footer">
|
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|
<div class="wrap foot-grid">
|
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|
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|
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|
<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
|
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|
</div>
|
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91
site/joke-of-the-day/index.html
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91
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<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
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<div class="wrap narrow">
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<h1>😄 Dad Joke of the Day</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">A brand-new dad joke every single day. Doctors recommend exactly one per day. We won't tell if you don't.</p>
|
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<div class="jod-banner jod-page">
|
||||||
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<p class="jod-date" data-jod-date>September 16, 2026</p>
|
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<p class="joke-setup" data-jod-setup>I don't trust stairs.</p>
|
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<div class="joke-punch" data-punch data-jod-punch>They're always up to something.</div>
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<h2>The dad joke archive</h2>
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<p>Every recent dad joke of the day, one per day, no repeats (for a few months, anyway):</p>
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<div class="archive" data-jod-archive></div>
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<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
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<p class="foot-h">More</p>
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<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
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93
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<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
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<h1>Privacy Policy</h1>
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<p class="page-sub">Last updated: September 16, 2026</p>
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<p>BestDadJokes.lol respects your privacy, which is ironic because dads famously respect nothing more than a good interruption. Here's the deal in plain English:</p>
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<h2>What we collect</h2>
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<p>We keep standard web server logs (IP address, browser type, pages visited) for security and aggregate traffic statistics. We do not ask for your name, email, or your kids' report cards. There are no accounts on this site.</p>
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<h2>Cookies and advertising</h2>
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<p>We may display advertising on this site to keep it free. Advertising partners, which may include Google, use cookies and similar technologies to serve ads based on your prior visits to this and other websites.</p>
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<p>Google's use of advertising cookies enables it and its partners to serve ads based on your visits to this site and/or other sites on the Internet. You may opt out of personalized advertising by visiting <a href="https://www.google.com/settings/ads" rel="nofollow noopener">Google Ads Settings</a>, or opt out of third-party vendor cookies at <a href="https://www.aboutads.info" rel="nofollow noopener">aboutads.info</a>.</p>
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<p>We use aggregate, privacy-respecting analytics to count page views and understand which categories people enjoy. This data cannot reasonably be used to identify you.</p>
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<p>We do not sell personal data. We have no personal data to sell. We barely have data.</p>
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<p>Content on this site is family-friendly by design. The site is not directed at children under 13, and we do not knowingly collect personal information from children.</p>
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<p>Questions about this policy? Email <a href="mailto:hello@bestdadjokes.lol">hello@bestdadjokes.lol</a>.</p>
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<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
|
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|
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|
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|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
|
||||||
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</div>
|
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<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">More</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
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<a href="/joke-of-the-day/">Joke of the Day</a>
|
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<a href="/search/">Search Jokes</a>
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<a href="/rss.xml">RSS Feed</a>
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<a href="/api/v1/random.json">Free JSON API</a>
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<a href="/contact/">Contact</a>
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<p>© 2026 Best Dad Jokes · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
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4
site/robots.txt
Normal file
4
site/robots.txt
Normal file
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@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
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User-agent: *
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Allow: /
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Sitemap: https://bestdadjokes.lol/sitemap.xml
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49
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Normal file
49
site/rss.xml
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
|
||||||
|
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0"><channel><title>Best Dad Jokes — Dad Joke of the Day</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/</link><description>The best dad jokes on the internet — short, clean, and groan-worthy.</description><language>en-us</language><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 16</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-16</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-16</guid><pubDate>Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>I don't trust stairs. — They're always up to something.</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 15</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-15</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-15</guid><pubDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. — She looked surprised.</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 14</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-14</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-14</guid><pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>What's brown and sticky? — A stick.</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 13</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-13</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-13</guid><pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>I used to hate facial hair. — Then it grew on me.</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 12</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-12</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-12</guid><pubDate>Sat, 12 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. — I just can't put it down.</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 11</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-11</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-11</guid><pubDate>Fri, 11 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Aardvark.
|
||||||
|
Aardvark who? — Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 10</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-10</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-10</guid><pubDate>Thu, 10 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Doris.
|
||||||
|
Doris who? — Doris locked — that's why I'm knocking!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 09</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-09</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-09</guid><pubDate>Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Nobel.
|
||||||
|
Nobel who? — No bell — that's why I knocked!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 08</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-08</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-08</guid><pubDate>Tue, 08 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Gorilla.
|
||||||
|
Gorilla who? — Gorilla cheese sandwich for me, I'm starving!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 07</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-07</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-07</guid><pubDate>Mon, 07 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Anita.
|
||||||
|
Anita who? — Anita borrow your pencil!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 06</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-06</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-06</guid><pubDate>Sun, 06 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Alpaca.
|
||||||
|
Alpaca who? — Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 05</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-05</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-05</guid><pubDate>Sat, 05 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Ken.
|
||||||
|
Ken who? — Ken you open the door, please?</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 04</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-04</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-04</guid><pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Dwayne.
|
||||||
|
Dwayne who? — Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 03</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-03</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-03</guid><pubDate>Thu, 03 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Justin.
|
||||||
|
Justin who? — Justin time for dinner!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 02</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-02</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-02</guid><pubDate>Wed, 02 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Europe.
|
||||||
|
Europe who? — No, YOU'RE a poo!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Sep 01</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-09-01</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-09-01</guid><pubDate>Tue, 01 Sep 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Amish.
|
||||||
|
Amish who? — Aww — I miss you too!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Aug 31</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-08-31</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-08-31</guid><pubDate>Mon, 31 Aug 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Atch.
|
||||||
|
Atch who? — Bless you!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Aug 30</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-08-30</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-08-30</guid><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Candice.
|
||||||
|
Candice who? — Candice door open, or what?</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Aug 29</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-08-29</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-08-29</guid><pubDate>Sat, 29 Aug 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Olive.
|
||||||
|
Olive who? — Olive you and I miss you!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Aug 28</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-08-28</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-08-28</guid><pubDate>Fri, 28 Aug 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Harry.
|
||||||
|
Harry who? — Harry up and open the door!</description></item><item><title>Dad Joke of the Day — Aug 27</title><link>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/?d=2026-08-27</link><guid isPermaLink="false">bjd-daily-2026-08-27</guid><pubDate>Thu, 27 Aug 2026 00:34:11 -0000</pubDate><description>Knock knock.
|
||||||
|
Who's there?
|
||||||
|
Interrupting cow.
|
||||||
|
Interrupting c— — MOO!</description></item></channel></rss>
|
||||||
84
site/search/index.html
Normal file
84
site/search/index.html
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,84 @@
|
||||||
|
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="utf-8">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
|
||||||
|
<title>Search Dad Jokes — Find a Dad Joke About Anything</title>
|
||||||
|
<meta name="description" content="Search hundreds of clean dad jokes by keyword. Find puns and one-liners about any topic instantly.">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="canonical" href="https://bestdadjokes.lol/search/">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="icon" href="/static/favicon.svg" type="image/svg+xml">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Dad Joke of the Day" href="/rss.xml">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="Best Dad Jokes">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:title" content="Search Dad Jokes — Find a Dad Joke About Anything">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Search hundreds of clean dad jokes by keyword. Find puns and one-liners about any topic instantly.">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:type" content="website">
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:url" content="https://bestdadjokes.lol/search/">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="twitter:card" content="summary">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/static/style.css">
|
||||||
|
<style>:root{--brand:#e4572e;--brand2:#f5a623;--ink:#2b2118;--cream:#fff8ec;--card:#ffffff}</style>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<header class="site-header">
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap header-row">
|
||||||
|
<a class="logo" href="/">😂 <strong>Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes</strong><em>.lol</em></a>
|
||||||
|
<input type="checkbox" id="navtoggle" class="navtoggle">
|
||||||
|
<label for="navtoggle" class="navburger" aria-label="Menu">☰</label>
|
||||||
|
<nav class="site-nav">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/" >Home</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/" >Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/joke-of-the-day/" >Joke of the Day</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/search/" class="on">Search</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/about/" >About</a>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap catbar">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</header>
|
||||||
|
<main>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap narrow">
|
||||||
|
<h1>🔎 Search Dad Jokes</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">Looking for a dad joke about coffee, cats, or cardio? Type it in. We probably have a pun for that.</p>
|
||||||
|
<form class="search-form" onsubmit="return false;">
|
||||||
|
<input type="search" id="search-box" placeholder="Try 'pizza', 'cow', 'work'..." autocomplete="off">
|
||||||
|
</form>
|
||||||
|
<p class="search-count" data-search-count></p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-grid" data-search-results></div>
|
||||||
|
<p data-search-empty style="display:none">No jokes matched. Which, honestly, is a great setup for a new dad joke — send it to us via the <a href="/contact/">contact page</a>.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</main>
|
||||||
|
<footer class="site-footer">
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-grid">
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">More</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/joke-of-the-day/">Joke of the Day</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/search/">Search Jokes</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/rss.xml">RSS Feed</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/api/v1/random.json">Free JSON API</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/about/">About</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/contact/">Contact</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/privacy-policy/">Privacy Policy</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/terms/">Terms</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-base">
|
||||||
|
<p>© 2026 Best Dad Jokes · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/jokes-data.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/main.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
34
site/sitemap.xml
Normal file
34
site/sitemap.xml
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
|
||||||
|
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
|
||||||
|
<urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9">
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>1.0</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/dad-joke-generator/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/joke-of-the-day/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/search/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/about/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/contact/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/privacy-policy/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/terms/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/animals/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/food/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/work/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/school/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/sports/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/tech/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/family/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/weather/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/space/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/travel/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/halloween/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/christmas/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/knock-knock/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/category/one-liners/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/coffee/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/cats/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/dogs/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/cows/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/money/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/sleep/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/love/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/birthday/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
<url><loc>https://bestdadjokes.lol/topic/winter/</loc><lastmod>2026-09-16</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq><priority>0.8</priority></url>
|
||||||
|
</urlset>
|
||||||
6
site/static/favicon.svg
Normal file
6
site/static/favicon.svg
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
|
||||||
|
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 64 64">
|
||||||
|
<rect x="2" y="2" width="60" height="60" rx="14" fill="#e4572e" stroke="#2b2118" stroke-width="4"/>
|
||||||
|
<circle cx="23" cy="26" r="4.5" fill="#fff8ec"/>
|
||||||
|
<circle cx="41" cy="26" r="4.5" fill="#fff8ec"/>
|
||||||
|
<path d="M18 38c3 8 10 12 14 12s11-4 14-12z" fill="#fff8ec"/>
|
||||||
|
</svg>
|
||||||
|
After Width: | Height: | Size: 336 B |
1
site/static/jokes-data.js
Normal file
1
site/static/jokes-data.js
Normal file
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
235
site/static/main.js
Normal file
235
site/static/main.js
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,235 @@
|
||||||
|
/* BestDadJokes.lol client-side behavior */
|
||||||
|
(function () {
|
||||||
|
'use strict';
|
||||||
|
document.body.classList.add('js-ux');
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
var JOKES = (window.BDJ && window.BDJ.jokes) || [];
|
||||||
|
function byId(id) { return JOKES[id]; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function $(sel, root) { return (root || document).querySelector(sel); }
|
||||||
|
function $$(sel, root) { return Array.prototype.slice.call((root || document).querySelectorAll(sel)); }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- punchline reveal ---- */
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('click', function (e) {
|
||||||
|
var punch = e.target.closest && e.target.closest('[data-punch]');
|
||||||
|
if (punch && !punch.classList.contains('revealed')) {
|
||||||
|
punch.classList.add('revealed');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- random ---- */
|
||||||
|
var lastId = -1;
|
||||||
|
function randomJoke() {
|
||||||
|
if (!JOKES.length) return null;
|
||||||
|
var j, guard = 0;
|
||||||
|
do { j = JOKES[Math.floor(Math.random() * JOKES.length)]; guard++; }
|
||||||
|
while (j.id === lastId && guard < 20 && JOKES.length > 1);
|
||||||
|
lastId = j.id;
|
||||||
|
return j;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
function fillRandom(setupEl, punchEl) {
|
||||||
|
var j = randomJoke();
|
||||||
|
if (!j) return null;
|
||||||
|
setupEl.textContent = j.s;
|
||||||
|
punchEl.textContent = j.p;
|
||||||
|
punchEl.classList.add('revealed');
|
||||||
|
punchEl.setAttribute('data-no-blur', '');
|
||||||
|
return j;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- clipboard ---- */
|
||||||
|
function copyText(text, btn) {
|
||||||
|
function ok() { if (btn) { var o = btn.textContent; btn.textContent = '✅ Copied'; setTimeout(function () { btn.textContent = o; }, 1400); } }
|
||||||
|
if (navigator.clipboard && navigator.clipboard.writeText) {
|
||||||
|
navigator.clipboard.writeText(text).then(ok, function () { legacy(); });
|
||||||
|
} else { legacy(); }
|
||||||
|
function legacy() {
|
||||||
|
var ta = document.createElement('textarea');
|
||||||
|
ta.value = text; document.body.appendChild(ta); ta.select();
|
||||||
|
try { document.execCommand('copy'); ok(); } catch (err) {}
|
||||||
|
document.body.removeChild(ta);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- share card (1080x1350) ---- */
|
||||||
|
function wrapText(ctx, text, x, y, maxW, lh) {
|
||||||
|
var words = text.split(' '), line = '', lines = [];
|
||||||
|
words.forEach(function (w) {
|
||||||
|
var test = line + w + ' ';
|
||||||
|
if (ctx.measureText(test).width > maxW && line) { lines.push(line.trim()); line = w + ' '; }
|
||||||
|
else { line = test; }
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
lines.push(line.trim());
|
||||||
|
lines.forEach(function (l, i) { ctx.fillText(l, x, y + i * lh); });
|
||||||
|
return y + lines.length * lh;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
function makeCard(setup, punch, cb) {
|
||||||
|
var c = document.createElement('canvas');
|
||||||
|
c.width = 1080; c.height = 1350;
|
||||||
|
var ctx = c.getContext('2d');
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillStyle = '#fff8ec'; ctx.fillRect(0, 0, 1080, 1350);
|
||||||
|
// border frame
|
||||||
|
ctx.strokeStyle = '#2b2118'; ctx.lineWidth = 8;
|
||||||
|
ctx.strokeRect(36, 36, 1008, 1278);
|
||||||
|
// emoji
|
||||||
|
ctx.font = '110px serif'; ctx.textAlign = 'center';
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillText('😂', 540, 240);
|
||||||
|
// setup
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillStyle = '#2b2118'; ctx.textAlign = 'center';
|
||||||
|
ctx.font = '700 54px ui-rounded, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif';
|
||||||
|
var y = wrapText(ctx, setup, 540, 380, 880, 72);
|
||||||
|
// punchline
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillStyle = '#e4572e';
|
||||||
|
ctx.font = '800 66px ui-rounded, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif';
|
||||||
|
y = wrapText(ctx, punch, 540, y + 150, 880, 86);
|
||||||
|
// footer
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillStyle = '#5c4f43'; ctx.font = '700 34px -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif';
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillText('BestDadJokes.lol', 540, 1240);
|
||||||
|
cb(c);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
function shareCard(setup, punch) {
|
||||||
|
var name = 'dad-joke.png';
|
||||||
|
makeCard(setup, punch, function (canvas) {
|
||||||
|
if (navigator.canShare && navigator.share) {
|
||||||
|
canvas.toBlob(function (blob) {
|
||||||
|
if (!blob) return;
|
||||||
|
var file = new File([blob], name, { type: 'image/png' });
|
||||||
|
if (navigator.canShare({ files: [file] })) {
|
||||||
|
navigator.share({ files: [file], title: 'A dad joke for you' }).catch(function () {});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}, 'image/png');
|
||||||
|
} else {
|
||||||
|
var a = document.createElement('a');
|
||||||
|
a.download = name; a.href = canvas.toDataURL('image/png');
|
||||||
|
document.body.appendChild(a); a.click(); document.body.removeChild(a);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function wireCard(opts) {
|
||||||
|
var setupEl = $(opts.setup), punchEl = $(opts.punch);
|
||||||
|
if (!setupEl || !punchEl) return;
|
||||||
|
var current = opts.initial || null;
|
||||||
|
if (opts.nextBtn) {
|
||||||
|
$(opts.nextBtn).addEventListener('click', function () { current = fillRandom(setupEl, punchEl); });
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
if (opts.copyBtn) {
|
||||||
|
$(opts.copyBtn).addEventListener('click', function (e) {
|
||||||
|
if (current) copyText(current.s + ' ' + current.p, e.target);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
if (opts.shareBtn) {
|
||||||
|
$(opts.shareBtn).addEventListener('click', function () {
|
||||||
|
if (current) shareCard(current.s, current.p);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
return {
|
||||||
|
get: function () { return current; },
|
||||||
|
set: function (j) { current = j; setupEl.textContent = j.s; punchEl.textContent = j.p; punchEl.classList.add('revealed'); punchEl.setAttribute('data-no-blur', ''); }
|
||||||
|
};
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- page-specific wiring ---- */
|
||||||
|
// hero
|
||||||
|
var hero = wireCard({ setup: '[data-hero-setup]', punch: '[data-hero-punch]', nextBtn: '[data-hero-next]', copyBtn: '[data-copy-hero]', shareBtn: '[data-share-hero]' });
|
||||||
|
if (hero) hero.set(randomJoke());
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// generator
|
||||||
|
wireCard({ setup: '[data-gen-setup]', punch: '[data-gen-punch]', nextBtn: '[data-gen-next]', copyBtn: '[data-gen-copy]', shareBtn: '[data-gen-share]' });
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// joke of the day (+ ?d= override for archive permalinks)
|
||||||
|
var jodSetup = $('[data-jod-setup]');
|
||||||
|
if (jodSetup) {
|
||||||
|
var m = /[?&]d=(\d{4}-\d{2}-\d{2})/.exec(location.search);
|
||||||
|
var base = new Date(Date.UTC(2026, 8, 15)); // launch epoch for the rotation
|
||||||
|
var jod = null;
|
||||||
|
if (m) {
|
||||||
|
var parts = m[1].split('-'), d = new Date(Date.UTC(+parts[0], +parts[1] - 1, +parts[2]));
|
||||||
|
if (!isNaN(d.getTime())) {
|
||||||
|
var idx = Math.floor((d - new Date(d.getUTCFullYear(), 0, 1)) / 86400000) + d.getUTCMonth() * 31 + d.getUTCDate();
|
||||||
|
jod = JOKES[(d.getTime() / 86400000 | 0) % JOKES.length] || JOKES[0];
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-date]').textContent = d.toUTCString().slice(0, 16);
|
||||||
|
var ctl = { setup: '[data-jod-setup]', punch: '[data-jod-punch]' };
|
||||||
|
jodSetup.textContent = jod.s;
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-punch]').textContent = jod.p;
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-punch]').classList.add('revealed');
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-punch]').setAttribute('data-no-blur', '');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
var jodCopy = $('[data-jod-copy]');
|
||||||
|
if (jodCopy) {
|
||||||
|
var punchEl = $('[data-jod-punch]');
|
||||||
|
jodCopy.addEventListener('click', function (e) { copyText(jodSetup.textContent + ' ' + punchEl.textContent, e.target); });
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
var jodShare = $('[data-jod-share]');
|
||||||
|
if (jodShare) {
|
||||||
|
jodShare.addEventListener('click', function () { shareCard(jodSetup.textContent, $('[data-jod-punch]').textContent); });
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
// archive: last 30 days
|
||||||
|
var arch = $('[data-jod-archive]');
|
||||||
|
if (arch && JOKES.length) {
|
||||||
|
var today = new Date();
|
||||||
|
var html = '';
|
||||||
|
for (var i = 1; i <= 30; i++) {
|
||||||
|
var dd = new Date(today.getTime() - i * 86400000);
|
||||||
|
var iso = dd.toISOString().slice(0, 10);
|
||||||
|
var jj = JOKES[Math.floor(dd.getTime() / 86400000) % JOKES.length];
|
||||||
|
html += '<figure class="joke-card"><p class="jod-date">' + iso + '</p>' +
|
||||||
|
'<p class="joke-setup">' + jj.s.replace(/</g, '<') + '</p>' +
|
||||||
|
'<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>' + jj.p.replace(/</g, '<') + '</div></figure>';
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
arch.innerHTML = html;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- per-card copy/share buttons ---- */
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('click', function (e) {
|
||||||
|
var t = e.target;
|
||||||
|
if (t.hasAttribute && t.hasAttribute('data-copy')) {
|
||||||
|
var j = byId(+t.getAttribute('data-copy'));
|
||||||
|
if (j) copyText(j.s + ' ' + j.p, t);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
if (t.hasAttribute && t.hasAttribute('data-share')) {
|
||||||
|
var jj = byId(+t.getAttribute('data-share'));
|
||||||
|
if (jj) shareCard(jj.s, jj.p);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- search ---- */
|
||||||
|
var box = $('#search-box');
|
||||||
|
if (box) {
|
||||||
|
var results = $('[data-search-results]');
|
||||||
|
var countEl = $('[data-search-count]');
|
||||||
|
var emptyEl = $('[data-search-empty]');
|
||||||
|
function renderResults(q) {
|
||||||
|
q = q.trim().toLowerCase();
|
||||||
|
var hits = [];
|
||||||
|
if (q.length > 1) {
|
||||||
|
hits = JOKES.filter(function (j) {
|
||||||
|
return (j.s + ' ' + j.p).toLowerCase().indexOf(q) !== -1;
|
||||||
|
}).slice(0, 60);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
countEl.textContent = q.length > 1 ? hits.length + ' joke' + (hits.length === 1 ? '' : 's') + ' matching "' + q + '"' : '';
|
||||||
|
emptyEl.style.display = (q.length > 1 && !hits.length) ? 'block' : 'none';
|
||||||
|
results.innerHTML = hits.map(function (j) {
|
||||||
|
return '<figure class="joke-card"><p class="joke-setup">' + j.s.replace(/</g, '<') + '</p>' +
|
||||||
|
'<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>' + j.p.replace(/</g, '<') + '</div>' +
|
||||||
|
'<figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="' + j.id + '">📋 Copy</button>' +
|
||||||
|
'<a class="btn-tiny" style="text-decoration:none" href="/category/' + j.cat + '/">Category →</a></figcaption></figure>';
|
||||||
|
}).join('');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
box.addEventListener('input', function () { renderResults(box.value); });
|
||||||
|
var q = /[?&]q=([^&]*)/.exec(location.search);
|
||||||
|
if (q) { box.value = decodeURIComponent(q[1].replace(/\+/g, ' ')); }
|
||||||
|
renderResults(box.value);
|
||||||
|
box.focus();
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- close mobile nav on selection ---- */
|
||||||
|
$$('.site-nav a').forEach(function (a) {
|
||||||
|
a.addEventListener('click', function () {
|
||||||
|
var t = $('#navtoggle');
|
||||||
|
if (t) t.checked = false;
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
})();
|
||||||
169
site/static/style.css
Normal file
169
site/static/style.css
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,169 @@
|
||||||
|
/* BestDadJokes.lol — comic cream */
|
||||||
|
* { box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0; padding: 0; }
|
||||||
|
:root {
|
||||||
|
--brand: #e4572e;
|
||||||
|
--brand-dark: #c74623;
|
||||||
|
--brand2: #f5a623;
|
||||||
|
--ink: #2b2118;
|
||||||
|
--ink-soft: #5c4f43;
|
||||||
|
--cream: #fff8ec;
|
||||||
|
--card: #ffffff;
|
||||||
|
--radius: 16px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
html { scroll-behavior: smooth; }
|
||||||
|
body {
|
||||||
|
font-family: ui-rounded, "SF Pro Rounded", -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", Arial, sans-serif;
|
||||||
|
background: var(--cream);
|
||||||
|
color: var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.6;
|
||||||
|
display: flex;
|
||||||
|
min-height: 100vh;
|
||||||
|
flex-direction: column;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
main { flex: 1; }
|
||||||
|
.wrap { max-width: 1080px; margin: 0 auto; padding: 0 20px; }
|
||||||
|
.wrap.narrow { max-width: 800px; }
|
||||||
|
a { color: var(--brand); }
|
||||||
|
h1 { font-size: clamp(1.9rem, 4.5vw, 2.9rem); line-height: 1.15; letter-spacing: -0.5px; margin: 18px 0 10px; }
|
||||||
|
h2 { font-size: clamp(1.3rem, 3vw, 1.7rem); margin: 40px 0 14px; letter-spacing: -0.3px; }
|
||||||
|
p.page-sub { color: var(--ink-soft); font-size: 1.08rem; max-width: 46rem; margin-bottom: 26px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* header */
|
||||||
|
.site-header { background: var(--card); border-bottom: 2px solid var(--ink); position: sticky; top: 0; z-index: 50; }
|
||||||
|
.header-row { display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: space-between; flex-wrap: wrap; padding-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 12px; gap: 10px; }
|
||||||
|
.logo { font-size: 1.35rem; text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink); letter-spacing: -0.5px; }
|
||||||
|
.logo strong span { color: var(--brand); }
|
||||||
|
.logo em { font-style: normal; color: var(--ink-soft); font-size: 1rem; }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav { display: flex; gap: 4px; flex-wrap: wrap; }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav a { text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink); font-weight: 600; padding: 7px 12px; border-radius: 999px; }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav a:hover { background: var(--cream); }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav a.on { background: var(--ink); color: var(--cream); }
|
||||||
|
.catbar { display: flex; gap: 8px; overflow-x: auto; padding-bottom: 12px; }
|
||||||
|
.catbar a { flex: 0 0 auto; text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink); font-weight: 600; font-size: .86rem; background: var(--cream); border: 1.5px solid var(--ink); border-radius: 999px; padding: 3px 11px; white-space: nowrap; }
|
||||||
|
.catbar a:hover { background: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
.navtoggle, .navburger { display: none; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* hero */
|
||||||
|
.hero { text-align: center; padding-top: 34px; }
|
||||||
|
.hero-sub { color: var(--ink-soft); font-size: 1.15rem; max-width: 44rem; margin: 0 auto 26px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* joke cards */
|
||||||
|
.joke-card, .hero-card, .jod-banner {
|
||||||
|
background: var(--card);
|
||||||
|
border: 2px solid var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
border-radius: var(--radius);
|
||||||
|
box-shadow: 5px 5px 0 var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
padding: 22px 24px;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 18px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.hero-card { max-width: 640px; margin: 0 auto 26px; text-align: left; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-setup { font-size: 1.13rem; font-weight: 600; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-setup.multi { line-height: 1.75; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-punch {
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 12px; font-size: 1.22rem; font-weight: 800; color: var(--brand);
|
||||||
|
transition: filter .25s ease;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.joke-punch::before { content: "→ "; color: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
body.js-ux .joke-punch:not(.revealed):not([data-no-blur]) {
|
||||||
|
filter: blur(6px);
|
||||||
|
cursor: pointer;
|
||||||
|
user-select: none;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
body.js-ux .joke-punch:not(.revealed):hover { filter: blur(3px); }
|
||||||
|
.joke-actions { margin-top: 14px; display: flex; gap: 8px; flex-wrap: wrap; }
|
||||||
|
.btn-tiny {
|
||||||
|
font: inherit; font-size: .8rem; font-weight: 700; background: var(--cream);
|
||||||
|
border: 1.5px solid var(--ink); border-radius: 999px; padding: 3px 11px; cursor: pointer; color: var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.btn-tiny:hover { background: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
.joke-grid { display: grid; grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(310px, 1fr)); gap: 18px; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-grid .joke-card { margin-bottom: 0; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* buttons */
|
||||||
|
.btn {
|
||||||
|
display: inline-block; font: inherit; font-weight: 800; font-size: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
background: var(--brand); color: #fff; border: 2px solid var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
border-radius: 999px; padding: 10px 22px; cursor: pointer;
|
||||||
|
box-shadow: 3px 3px 0 var(--ink); text-decoration: none;
|
||||||
|
transition: transform .08s ease, box-shadow .08s ease;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.btn:hover { transform: translate(-1px, -1px); box-shadow: 4px 4px 0 var(--ink); }
|
||||||
|
.btn:active { transform: translate(2px, 2px); box-shadow: 1px 1px 0 var(--ink); }
|
||||||
|
.btn-ghost { background: var(--card); color: var(--ink); }
|
||||||
|
.hero-btns { display: flex; gap: 10px; flex-wrap: wrap; margin-top: 18px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* joke of the day */
|
||||||
|
.jod-banner { background: linear-gradient(135deg, #fff, #fff4dd); text-align: left; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-label { font-weight: 800; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: .85rem; color: var(--brand-dark); margin-bottom: 8px; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-date { font-size: .9rem; font-weight: 700; color: var(--ink-soft); margin-bottom: 6px; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-page { margin: 0 0 30px; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-more { margin-top: 14px; font-size: .95rem; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-more a { font-weight: 700; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* categories */
|
||||||
|
.cat-grid { display: grid; grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(230px, 1fr)); gap: 16px; }
|
||||||
|
.cat-card {
|
||||||
|
background: var(--card); border: 2px solid var(--ink); border-radius: var(--radius);
|
||||||
|
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<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
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<h1>Terms of Use</h1>
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<p class="page-sub">Last updated: September 16, 2026</p>
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<p>By using BestDadJokes.lol you agree to the following terms. Reading them aloud in a dad voice is optional but encouraged.</p>
|
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<h2>Use of content</h2>
|
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<p>The jokes on this site are provided for personal, non-commercial enjoyment. Share them freely at dinner tables, offices, and group chats. If you want to republish jokes in bulk or use this site commercially, contact us first — we're reasonable people.</p>
|
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<h2>No warranties</h2>
|
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<p>This site is provided "as is." We make no guarantees that jokes will be funny, that groans will be produced, or that your teenagers will acknowledge your existence. All comedic risk is yours.</p>
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<h2>Limitation of liability</h2>
|
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<p>To the fullest extent permitted by law, BestDadJokes.lol is not liable for any damages arising from use of the site, including but not limited to eye-rolling, sighing, involuntary chuckling, and children hiding your phone.</p>
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<h2>External links</h2>
|
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<p>We are not responsible for the content of external websites, including their jokes, which are almost certainly worse than ours.</p>
|
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<h2>Changes</h2>
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<p>We may update these terms occasionally. Continued use of the site means you accept the updated terms, and possibly a fresh dad joke.</p>
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<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
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<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
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<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
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<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
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<p class="foot-h">More</p>
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<div class="foot-links">
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<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
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<p>© 2026 Best Dad Jokes · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
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83
site/topic/birthday/index.html
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site/topic/birthday/index.html
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|
<!DOCTYPE html>
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<title>Birthday Dad Jokes — 10 Clean, Groan-Worthy Jokes</title>
|
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<meta name="description" content="Because every birthday needs at least one groan with the cake. These birthday dad jokes are tradition now, sorry. A curated collection of 10 clean, family-friendly jokes.">
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<meta property="og:description" content="Because every birthday needs at least one groan with the cake. These birthday dad jokes are tradition now, sorry. A curated collection of 10 clean, family-friendly jokes.">
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<a href="/category/animals/">🦝 Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">🍕 Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">⚽ Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">👨👩👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="#all-cats">more →</a>
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|
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|
<nav class="crumbs"><a href="/">Home</a> › <a href="/#topics">Topics</a> › <span>Birthday Dad Jokes</span></nav>
|
||||||
|
<h1>🎂 Birthday Dad Jokes</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">Because every birthday needs at least one groan with the cake. These birthday dad jokes are tradition now, sorry. That's 10 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-74"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the student eat his homework?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="74">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="74">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-86"><p class="joke-setup">The past, the present, and the future walked into class.</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was tense.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="86">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="86">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-158"><p class="joke-setup">How do you organize a party in space?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>You planet.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="158">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="158">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-194"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>He had no body to go with him.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="194">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="194">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-215"><p class="joke-setup">What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Freeze a jolly good fellow.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="215">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="215">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-310"><p class="joke-setup">Why do candles love birthdays?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They get to be the light of the party.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="310">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="310">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-311"><p class="joke-setup">What did the elephant want for its birthday?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A trunk full of presents.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="311">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="311">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-312"><p class="joke-setup">Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was marble cake.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="312">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="312">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-313"><p class="joke-setup">What does a clam do on its birthday?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It shellabrates.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="313">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="313">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-314"><p class="joke-setup">What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Aye matey!</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="314">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="314">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
|
||||||
|
<h2>More where that came from</h2>
|
||||||
|
<div class="chips"><a class="chip" href="/topic/coffee/">☕ Coffee</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/cats/">🐱 Cats</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/dogs/">🐕 Dogs</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/cows/">🐄 Cows</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/money/">💰 Money</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/sleep/">😴 Sleep</a></div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="center-link"><a class="btn" href="/dad-joke-generator/">🎲 Random Dad Joke Generator</a></p>
|
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|
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|
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|
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|
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|
<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
|
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|
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|
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|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
|
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</div>
|
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|
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<p class="page-sub">For the cat dads out there. These cat dad jokes will make your feline walk out of the room in disgust — which, for a cat, is a standing ovation. That's 9 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-12"><p class="joke-setup">What's a cat's favorite color?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Purr-ple.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="12">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="12">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-156"><p class="joke-setup">The forecast said it would rain cats and dogs.</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>I went outside and stepped in a poodle.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="156">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="156">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-280"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call a pile of kittens?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A meow-ntain.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="280">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="280">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-281"><p class="joke-setup">Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Too many cheetahs.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="281">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="281">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-282"><p class="joke-setup">What's a cat's favorite dessert?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Mice cream.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="282">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="282">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-283"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the cat sit on the computer?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>To keep an eye on the mouse.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="283">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="283">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-284"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call a cat that works at a hospital?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A purr-fessional.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="284">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="284">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-285"><p class="joke-setup">How do cats end a fight?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They hiss and make up.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="285">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="285">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-286"><p class="joke-setup">Why is everyone so excited about the cat's new job?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Because it's feline good.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="286">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="286">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
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<h1>☕ Dad Jokes About Coffee</h1>
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<p class="page-sub">Fuel for dads and their worst puns alike. These coffee dad jokes are best served strong, black, and with a healthy amount of eye-rolling. That's 10 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-50"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the coffee file a police report?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It got mugged.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="50">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="50">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-61"><p class="joke-setup">Why do employees drink so much coffee at work?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It's the weekend immune system that keeps them going.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="61">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="61">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-182"><p class="joke-setup">What's the fastest vegetable?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A runner bean.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="182">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="182">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-273"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call a sad cup of coffee?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A depres-so.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="273">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="273">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-274"><p class="joke-setup">How do coffee cups show their love?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>With mugs and kisses.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="274">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="274">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-275"><p class="joke-setup">Where do coffee beans go for a night out?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>The coffee bar.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="275">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="275">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-276"><p class="joke-setup">Why was the espresso checking its watch?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was pressed for time.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="276">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="276">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-277"><p class="joke-setup">What's a coffee's favorite magic spell?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Espresso Patronum!</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="277">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="277">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-278"><p class="joke-setup">Why don't coffees ever gossip?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They don't want to spill the beans.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="278">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="278">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-279"><p class="joke-setup">How does coffee show it cares?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It gives you a latte attention.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="279">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="279">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
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<p class="page-sub">Outstanding in their field and in our pun archive. These cow dad jokes are udderly relentless. That's 6 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-8"><p class="joke-setup">Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Because they lactose.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="8">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="8">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-25"><p class="joke-setup">Why do cows wear bells?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Because their horns don't work.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="25">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="25">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-51"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call a cow on a trampoline?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A milkshake.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="51">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="51">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-167"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the cow become an astronaut?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>To see the moooon.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="167">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="167">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-221"><p class="joke-setup multi">Knock knock.<br>Who's there?<br>Interrupting cow.<br>Interrupting c—</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>MOO!</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="221">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="221">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-299"><p class="joke-setup">Where do cows invest their money?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>In moo-tual funds.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="299">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="299">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
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<p class="page-sub">Romance, dad-style. These love dad jokes have walked someone down the aisle against their will and lived to pun about it. That's 9 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-89"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the geography teacher love the ocean?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was full of currents.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="89">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="89">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-147"><p class="joke-setup">What does the wind say on Valentine's Day?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>I'm a big fan of yours.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="147">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="147">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-240"><p class="joke-setup">I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>She looked surprised.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="240">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="240">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-274"><p class="joke-setup">How do coffee cups show their love?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>With mugs and kisses.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="274">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="274">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-305"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the two antennas get married?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>The ceremony was okay, but the reception was excellent.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="305">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="305">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-307"><p class="joke-setup">What's the most romantic part about the ocean?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>When the buoy meets gull.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="307">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="307">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-308"><p class="joke-setup">Kid: 'Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?'</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Dad: 'Sure — February 14th.'</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="308">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="308">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-309"><p class="joke-setup">My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>I had to put my foot down.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="309">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="309">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-310"><p class="joke-setup">Why do candles love birthdays?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They get to be the light of the party.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="310">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="310">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
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<nav class="crumbs"><a href="/">Home</a> › <a href="/#topics">Topics</a> › <span>Dad Jokes About Money</span></nav>
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<h1>💰 Dad Jokes About Money</h1>
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<p class="page-sub">Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy these money dad jokes, which are basically the same thing but cheaper. That's 7 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-45"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the man put his money in the freezer?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>He wanted cold hard cash.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="45">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="45">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-98"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the football coach go to the bank?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>To get his quarterback.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="98">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="98">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-294"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the penny get promoted?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It made perfect cents.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="294">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="294">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-295"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call a rich fish?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A goldfish.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="295">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="295">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-296"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the dollar bill break up with the coin?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It needed some change.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="296">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="296">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-298"><p class="joke-setup">Why was the money exhausted?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was spent.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="298">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="298">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-299"><p class="joke-setup">Where do cows invest their money?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>In moo-tual funds.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="299">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="299">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
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<h1>😴 Dad Jokes About Sleep</h1>
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<p class="page-sub">Read these sleep dad jokes in bed. Groaning yourself to sleep counts as a lullaby. That's 10 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
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<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-24"><p class="joke-setup">How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Your nose touches the ceiling.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="24">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="24">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-96"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the bicycle fall over?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was two-tired.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="96">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="96">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-127"><p class="joke-setup">Why do keyboards never sleep?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They have two shifts.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="127">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="127">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-131"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the dad bring a pencil to bed?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>To draw the curtains.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="131">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="131">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-134"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the toddler put sugar under his pillow?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>He wanted sweet dreams.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="134">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="134">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-173"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the car apply for a job?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was tired of sitting idle.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="173">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="173">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-213"><p class="joke-setup">What does the gingerbread man use to make his bed?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Cookie sheets.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="213">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="213">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-300"><p class="joke-setup">What's a nap's favorite kind of movie?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>A sleeper hit.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="300">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="300">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-301"><p class="joke-setup">Why did the pillow go to the doctor?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>It was feeling down.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="301">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="301">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-304"><p class="joke-setup">Why was everyone so tired on the morning of April 1st?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They'd just finished a 31-day March.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="304">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="304">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
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||||||
|
<div class="wrap">
|
||||||
|
<nav class="crumbs"><a href="/">Home</a> › <a href="/#topics">Topics</a> › <span>Winter Dad Jokes</span></nav>
|
||||||
|
<h1>⛄ Winter Dad Jokes</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-sub">These winter dad jokes are snow joke. Perfect for breaking the ice at any cold-weather gathering. That's 10 of them, carefully curated for maximum groan.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="joke-grid"><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-149"><p class="joke-setup">What falls in winter but never gets hurt?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Snow.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="149">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="149">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-152"><p class="joke-setup">What do snowmen call their offspring?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Chill-dren.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="152">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="152">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-154"><p class="joke-setup">Why don't mountains ever get cold in winter?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>They wear snowcaps.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="154">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="154">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-193"><p class="joke-setup">What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Frostbite.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="193">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="193">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-205"><p class="joke-setup">What did one snowman say to the other snowman?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Do you smell carrots?</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="205">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="205">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-211"><p class="joke-setup">What do you call an old snowman?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Water.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="211">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="211">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-215"><p class="joke-setup">What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Freeze a jolly good fellow.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="215">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="215">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-319"><p class="joke-setup">How does a snowman get around town?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>On an icicle.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="319">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="319">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-320"><p class="joke-setup">What did the icy road say to the truck?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Want to go for a spin?</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="320">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="320">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure><figure class="joke-card" id="joke-321"><p class="joke-setup">How do you prevent a summer cold?</p><div class="joke-punch" data-punch>Catch it in the winter.</div><figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-share="321">🖼️ Share as image</button><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="321">📋 Copy</button></figcaption></figure></div>
|
||||||
|
<h2>More where that came from</h2>
|
||||||
|
<div class="chips"><a class="chip" href="/topic/coffee/">☕ Coffee</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/cats/">🐱 Cats</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/dogs/">🐕 Dogs</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/cows/">🐄 Cows</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/money/">💰 Money</a><a class="chip" href="/topic/sleep/">😴 Sleep</a></div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="center-link"><a class="btn" href="/dad-joke-generator/">🎲 Random Dad Joke Generator</a></p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</main>
|
||||||
|
<footer class="site-footer">
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-grid">
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-logo">😂 Best<span>Dad</span>Jokes<em>.lol</em></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Hi, I'm a dad. These are my jokes. Someone has to laugh at them, and it might as well be the internet.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">Categories</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links"><a href="/category/animals/">Animal Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/food/">Food Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/work/">Work & Office Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/school/">School & Teacher Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/sports/">Sports Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/tech/">Tech & Computer Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/family/">Family & Parenting Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/weather/">Weather Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/space/">Space Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/travel/">Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/halloween/">Halloween Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/christmas/">Christmas Dad Jokes</a><a href="/category/knock-knock/">Knock-Knock Jokes</a><a href="/category/one-liners/">Dad Joke One-Liners</a></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="foot-h">More</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="foot-links">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/dad-joke-generator/">Dad Joke Generator</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/joke-of-the-day/">Joke of the Day</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/search/">Search Jokes</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/rss.xml">RSS Feed</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/api/v1/random.json">Free JSON API</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/about/">About</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/contact/">Contact</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/privacy-policy/">Privacy Policy</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/terms/">Terms</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="wrap foot-base">
|
||||||
|
<p>© 2026 Best Dad Jokes · Family-friendly jokes, dad-certified since the Big Dad Energy era.</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/jokes-data.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/static/main.js" defer></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
6
static/favicon.svg
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|
||||||
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<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 64 64">
|
||||||
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<rect x="2" y="2" width="60" height="60" rx="14" fill="#e4572e" stroke="#2b2118" stroke-width="4"/>
|
||||||
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<circle cx="23" cy="26" r="4.5" fill="#fff8ec"/>
|
||||||
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<circle cx="41" cy="26" r="4.5" fill="#fff8ec"/>
|
||||||
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<path d="M18 38c3 8 10 12 14 12s11-4 14-12z" fill="#fff8ec"/>
|
||||||
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</svg>
|
||||||
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After Width: | Height: | Size: 336 B |
235
static/main.js
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235
static/main.js
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|
@ -0,0 +1,235 @@
|
||||||
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/* BestDadJokes.lol client-side behavior */
|
||||||
|
(function () {
|
||||||
|
'use strict';
|
||||||
|
document.body.classList.add('js-ux');
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
var JOKES = (window.BDJ && window.BDJ.jokes) || [];
|
||||||
|
function byId(id) { return JOKES[id]; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function $(sel, root) { return (root || document).querySelector(sel); }
|
||||||
|
function $$(sel, root) { return Array.prototype.slice.call((root || document).querySelectorAll(sel)); }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- punchline reveal ---- */
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('click', function (e) {
|
||||||
|
var punch = e.target.closest && e.target.closest('[data-punch]');
|
||||||
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if (punch && !punch.classList.contains('revealed')) {
|
||||||
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punch.classList.add('revealed');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
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});
|
||||||
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|
||||||
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/* ---- random ---- */
|
||||||
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var lastId = -1;
|
||||||
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function randomJoke() {
|
||||||
|
if (!JOKES.length) return null;
|
||||||
|
var j, guard = 0;
|
||||||
|
do { j = JOKES[Math.floor(Math.random() * JOKES.length)]; guard++; }
|
||||||
|
while (j.id === lastId && guard < 20 && JOKES.length > 1);
|
||||||
|
lastId = j.id;
|
||||||
|
return j;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
function fillRandom(setupEl, punchEl) {
|
||||||
|
var j = randomJoke();
|
||||||
|
if (!j) return null;
|
||||||
|
setupEl.textContent = j.s;
|
||||||
|
punchEl.textContent = j.p;
|
||||||
|
punchEl.classList.add('revealed');
|
||||||
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punchEl.setAttribute('data-no-blur', '');
|
||||||
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return j;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
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|
||||||
|
/* ---- clipboard ---- */
|
||||||
|
function copyText(text, btn) {
|
||||||
|
function ok() { if (btn) { var o = btn.textContent; btn.textContent = '✅ Copied'; setTimeout(function () { btn.textContent = o; }, 1400); } }
|
||||||
|
if (navigator.clipboard && navigator.clipboard.writeText) {
|
||||||
|
navigator.clipboard.writeText(text).then(ok, function () { legacy(); });
|
||||||
|
} else { legacy(); }
|
||||||
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function legacy() {
|
||||||
|
var ta = document.createElement('textarea');
|
||||||
|
ta.value = text; document.body.appendChild(ta); ta.select();
|
||||||
|
try { document.execCommand('copy'); ok(); } catch (err) {}
|
||||||
|
document.body.removeChild(ta);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
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|
||||||
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/* ---- share card (1080x1350) ---- */
|
||||||
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function wrapText(ctx, text, x, y, maxW, lh) {
|
||||||
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var words = text.split(' '), line = '', lines = [];
|
||||||
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words.forEach(function (w) {
|
||||||
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var test = line + w + ' ';
|
||||||
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if (ctx.measureText(test).width > maxW && line) { lines.push(line.trim()); line = w + ' '; }
|
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else { line = test; }
|
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});
|
||||||
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lines.push(line.trim());
|
||||||
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lines.forEach(function (l, i) { ctx.fillText(l, x, y + i * lh); });
|
||||||
|
return y + lines.length * lh;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
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function makeCard(setup, punch, cb) {
|
||||||
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var c = document.createElement('canvas');
|
||||||
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c.width = 1080; c.height = 1350;
|
||||||
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var ctx = c.getContext('2d');
|
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ctx.fillStyle = '#fff8ec'; ctx.fillRect(0, 0, 1080, 1350);
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// border frame
|
||||||
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ctx.strokeStyle = '#2b2118'; ctx.lineWidth = 8;
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ctx.strokeRect(36, 36, 1008, 1278);
|
||||||
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// emoji
|
||||||
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ctx.font = '110px serif'; ctx.textAlign = 'center';
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillText('😂', 540, 240);
|
||||||
|
// setup
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillStyle = '#2b2118'; ctx.textAlign = 'center';
|
||||||
|
ctx.font = '700 54px ui-rounded, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif';
|
||||||
|
var y = wrapText(ctx, setup, 540, 380, 880, 72);
|
||||||
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// punchline
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillStyle = '#e4572e';
|
||||||
|
ctx.font = '800 66px ui-rounded, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif';
|
||||||
|
y = wrapText(ctx, punch, 540, y + 150, 880, 86);
|
||||||
|
// footer
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillStyle = '#5c4f43'; ctx.font = '700 34px -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif';
|
||||||
|
ctx.fillText('BestDadJokes.lol', 540, 1240);
|
||||||
|
cb(c);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
function shareCard(setup, punch) {
|
||||||
|
var name = 'dad-joke.png';
|
||||||
|
makeCard(setup, punch, function (canvas) {
|
||||||
|
if (navigator.canShare && navigator.share) {
|
||||||
|
canvas.toBlob(function (blob) {
|
||||||
|
if (!blob) return;
|
||||||
|
var file = new File([blob], name, { type: 'image/png' });
|
||||||
|
if (navigator.canShare({ files: [file] })) {
|
||||||
|
navigator.share({ files: [file], title: 'A dad joke for you' }).catch(function () {});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}, 'image/png');
|
||||||
|
} else {
|
||||||
|
var a = document.createElement('a');
|
||||||
|
a.download = name; a.href = canvas.toDataURL('image/png');
|
||||||
|
document.body.appendChild(a); a.click(); document.body.removeChild(a);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function wireCard(opts) {
|
||||||
|
var setupEl = $(opts.setup), punchEl = $(opts.punch);
|
||||||
|
if (!setupEl || !punchEl) return;
|
||||||
|
var current = opts.initial || null;
|
||||||
|
if (opts.nextBtn) {
|
||||||
|
$(opts.nextBtn).addEventListener('click', function () { current = fillRandom(setupEl, punchEl); });
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
if (opts.copyBtn) {
|
||||||
|
$(opts.copyBtn).addEventListener('click', function (e) {
|
||||||
|
if (current) copyText(current.s + ' ' + current.p, e.target);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
if (opts.shareBtn) {
|
||||||
|
$(opts.shareBtn).addEventListener('click', function () {
|
||||||
|
if (current) shareCard(current.s, current.p);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
return {
|
||||||
|
get: function () { return current; },
|
||||||
|
set: function (j) { current = j; setupEl.textContent = j.s; punchEl.textContent = j.p; punchEl.classList.add('revealed'); punchEl.setAttribute('data-no-blur', ''); }
|
||||||
|
};
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- page-specific wiring ---- */
|
||||||
|
// hero
|
||||||
|
var hero = wireCard({ setup: '[data-hero-setup]', punch: '[data-hero-punch]', nextBtn: '[data-hero-next]', copyBtn: '[data-copy-hero]', shareBtn: '[data-share-hero]' });
|
||||||
|
if (hero) hero.set(randomJoke());
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// generator
|
||||||
|
wireCard({ setup: '[data-gen-setup]', punch: '[data-gen-punch]', nextBtn: '[data-gen-next]', copyBtn: '[data-gen-copy]', shareBtn: '[data-gen-share]' });
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// joke of the day (+ ?d= override for archive permalinks)
|
||||||
|
var jodSetup = $('[data-jod-setup]');
|
||||||
|
if (jodSetup) {
|
||||||
|
var m = /[?&]d=(\d{4}-\d{2}-\d{2})/.exec(location.search);
|
||||||
|
var base = new Date(Date.UTC(2026, 8, 15)); // launch epoch for the rotation
|
||||||
|
var jod = null;
|
||||||
|
if (m) {
|
||||||
|
var parts = m[1].split('-'), d = new Date(Date.UTC(+parts[0], +parts[1] - 1, +parts[2]));
|
||||||
|
if (!isNaN(d.getTime())) {
|
||||||
|
var idx = Math.floor((d - new Date(d.getUTCFullYear(), 0, 1)) / 86400000) + d.getUTCMonth() * 31 + d.getUTCDate();
|
||||||
|
jod = JOKES[(d.getTime() / 86400000 | 0) % JOKES.length] || JOKES[0];
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-date]').textContent = d.toUTCString().slice(0, 16);
|
||||||
|
var ctl = { setup: '[data-jod-setup]', punch: '[data-jod-punch]' };
|
||||||
|
jodSetup.textContent = jod.s;
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-punch]').textContent = jod.p;
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-punch]').classList.add('revealed');
|
||||||
|
$('[data-jod-punch]').setAttribute('data-no-blur', '');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
var jodCopy = $('[data-jod-copy]');
|
||||||
|
if (jodCopy) {
|
||||||
|
var punchEl = $('[data-jod-punch]');
|
||||||
|
jodCopy.addEventListener('click', function (e) { copyText(jodSetup.textContent + ' ' + punchEl.textContent, e.target); });
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
var jodShare = $('[data-jod-share]');
|
||||||
|
if (jodShare) {
|
||||||
|
jodShare.addEventListener('click', function () { shareCard(jodSetup.textContent, $('[data-jod-punch]').textContent); });
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
// archive: last 30 days
|
||||||
|
var arch = $('[data-jod-archive]');
|
||||||
|
if (arch && JOKES.length) {
|
||||||
|
var today = new Date();
|
||||||
|
var html = '';
|
||||||
|
for (var i = 1; i <= 30; i++) {
|
||||||
|
var dd = new Date(today.getTime() - i * 86400000);
|
||||||
|
var iso = dd.toISOString().slice(0, 10);
|
||||||
|
var jj = JOKES[Math.floor(dd.getTime() / 86400000) % JOKES.length];
|
||||||
|
html += '<figure class="joke-card"><p class="jod-date">' + iso + '</p>' +
|
||||||
|
'<p class="joke-setup">' + jj.s.replace(/</g, '<') + '</p>' +
|
||||||
|
'<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>' + jj.p.replace(/</g, '<') + '</div></figure>';
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
arch.innerHTML = html;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- per-card copy/share buttons ---- */
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('click', function (e) {
|
||||||
|
var t = e.target;
|
||||||
|
if (t.hasAttribute && t.hasAttribute('data-copy')) {
|
||||||
|
var j = byId(+t.getAttribute('data-copy'));
|
||||||
|
if (j) copyText(j.s + ' ' + j.p, t);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
if (t.hasAttribute && t.hasAttribute('data-share')) {
|
||||||
|
var jj = byId(+t.getAttribute('data-share'));
|
||||||
|
if (jj) shareCard(jj.s, jj.p);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- search ---- */
|
||||||
|
var box = $('#search-box');
|
||||||
|
if (box) {
|
||||||
|
var results = $('[data-search-results]');
|
||||||
|
var countEl = $('[data-search-count]');
|
||||||
|
var emptyEl = $('[data-search-empty]');
|
||||||
|
function renderResults(q) {
|
||||||
|
q = q.trim().toLowerCase();
|
||||||
|
var hits = [];
|
||||||
|
if (q.length > 1) {
|
||||||
|
hits = JOKES.filter(function (j) {
|
||||||
|
return (j.s + ' ' + j.p).toLowerCase().indexOf(q) !== -1;
|
||||||
|
}).slice(0, 60);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
countEl.textContent = q.length > 1 ? hits.length + ' joke' + (hits.length === 1 ? '' : 's') + ' matching "' + q + '"' : '';
|
||||||
|
emptyEl.style.display = (q.length > 1 && !hits.length) ? 'block' : 'none';
|
||||||
|
results.innerHTML = hits.map(function (j) {
|
||||||
|
return '<figure class="joke-card"><p class="joke-setup">' + j.s.replace(/</g, '<') + '</p>' +
|
||||||
|
'<div class="joke-punch" data-punch>' + j.p.replace(/</g, '<') + '</div>' +
|
||||||
|
'<figcaption class="joke-actions"><button class="btn-tiny" data-copy="' + j.id + '">📋 Copy</button>' +
|
||||||
|
'<a class="btn-tiny" style="text-decoration:none" href="/category/' + j.cat + '/">Category →</a></figcaption></figure>';
|
||||||
|
}).join('');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
box.addEventListener('input', function () { renderResults(box.value); });
|
||||||
|
var q = /[?&]q=([^&]*)/.exec(location.search);
|
||||||
|
if (q) { box.value = decodeURIComponent(q[1].replace(/\+/g, ' ')); }
|
||||||
|
renderResults(box.value);
|
||||||
|
box.focus();
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* ---- close mobile nav on selection ---- */
|
||||||
|
$$('.site-nav a').forEach(function (a) {
|
||||||
|
a.addEventListener('click', function () {
|
||||||
|
var t = $('#navtoggle');
|
||||||
|
if (t) t.checked = false;
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
})();
|
||||||
169
static/style.css
Normal file
169
static/style.css
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,169 @@
|
||||||
|
/* BestDadJokes.lol — comic cream */
|
||||||
|
* { box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0; padding: 0; }
|
||||||
|
:root {
|
||||||
|
--brand: #e4572e;
|
||||||
|
--brand-dark: #c74623;
|
||||||
|
--brand2: #f5a623;
|
||||||
|
--ink: #2b2118;
|
||||||
|
--ink-soft: #5c4f43;
|
||||||
|
--cream: #fff8ec;
|
||||||
|
--card: #ffffff;
|
||||||
|
--radius: 16px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
html { scroll-behavior: smooth; }
|
||||||
|
body {
|
||||||
|
font-family: ui-rounded, "SF Pro Rounded", -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", Arial, sans-serif;
|
||||||
|
background: var(--cream);
|
||||||
|
color: var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.6;
|
||||||
|
display: flex;
|
||||||
|
min-height: 100vh;
|
||||||
|
flex-direction: column;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
main { flex: 1; }
|
||||||
|
.wrap { max-width: 1080px; margin: 0 auto; padding: 0 20px; }
|
||||||
|
.wrap.narrow { max-width: 800px; }
|
||||||
|
a { color: var(--brand); }
|
||||||
|
h1 { font-size: clamp(1.9rem, 4.5vw, 2.9rem); line-height: 1.15; letter-spacing: -0.5px; margin: 18px 0 10px; }
|
||||||
|
h2 { font-size: clamp(1.3rem, 3vw, 1.7rem); margin: 40px 0 14px; letter-spacing: -0.3px; }
|
||||||
|
p.page-sub { color: var(--ink-soft); font-size: 1.08rem; max-width: 46rem; margin-bottom: 26px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* header */
|
||||||
|
.site-header { background: var(--card); border-bottom: 2px solid var(--ink); position: sticky; top: 0; z-index: 50; }
|
||||||
|
.header-row { display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: space-between; flex-wrap: wrap; padding-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 12px; gap: 10px; }
|
||||||
|
.logo { font-size: 1.35rem; text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink); letter-spacing: -0.5px; }
|
||||||
|
.logo strong span { color: var(--brand); }
|
||||||
|
.logo em { font-style: normal; color: var(--ink-soft); font-size: 1rem; }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav { display: flex; gap: 4px; flex-wrap: wrap; }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav a { text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink); font-weight: 600; padding: 7px 12px; border-radius: 999px; }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav a:hover { background: var(--cream); }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav a.on { background: var(--ink); color: var(--cream); }
|
||||||
|
.catbar { display: flex; gap: 8px; overflow-x: auto; padding-bottom: 12px; }
|
||||||
|
.catbar a { flex: 0 0 auto; text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink); font-weight: 600; font-size: .86rem; background: var(--cream); border: 1.5px solid var(--ink); border-radius: 999px; padding: 3px 11px; white-space: nowrap; }
|
||||||
|
.catbar a:hover { background: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
.navtoggle, .navburger { display: none; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* hero */
|
||||||
|
.hero { text-align: center; padding-top: 34px; }
|
||||||
|
.hero-sub { color: var(--ink-soft); font-size: 1.15rem; max-width: 44rem; margin: 0 auto 26px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* joke cards */
|
||||||
|
.joke-card, .hero-card, .jod-banner {
|
||||||
|
background: var(--card);
|
||||||
|
border: 2px solid var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
border-radius: var(--radius);
|
||||||
|
box-shadow: 5px 5px 0 var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
padding: 22px 24px;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 18px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.hero-card { max-width: 640px; margin: 0 auto 26px; text-align: left; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-setup { font-size: 1.13rem; font-weight: 600; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-setup.multi { line-height: 1.75; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-punch {
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 12px; font-size: 1.22rem; font-weight: 800; color: var(--brand);
|
||||||
|
transition: filter .25s ease;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.joke-punch::before { content: "→ "; color: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
body.js-ux .joke-punch:not(.revealed):not([data-no-blur]) {
|
||||||
|
filter: blur(6px);
|
||||||
|
cursor: pointer;
|
||||||
|
user-select: none;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
body.js-ux .joke-punch:not(.revealed):hover { filter: blur(3px); }
|
||||||
|
.joke-actions { margin-top: 14px; display: flex; gap: 8px; flex-wrap: wrap; }
|
||||||
|
.btn-tiny {
|
||||||
|
font: inherit; font-size: .8rem; font-weight: 700; background: var(--cream);
|
||||||
|
border: 1.5px solid var(--ink); border-radius: 999px; padding: 3px 11px; cursor: pointer; color: var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.btn-tiny:hover { background: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
.joke-grid { display: grid; grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(310px, 1fr)); gap: 18px; }
|
||||||
|
.joke-grid .joke-card { margin-bottom: 0; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* buttons */
|
||||||
|
.btn {
|
||||||
|
display: inline-block; font: inherit; font-weight: 800; font-size: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
background: var(--brand); color: #fff; border: 2px solid var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
border-radius: 999px; padding: 10px 22px; cursor: pointer;
|
||||||
|
box-shadow: 3px 3px 0 var(--ink); text-decoration: none;
|
||||||
|
transition: transform .08s ease, box-shadow .08s ease;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.btn:hover { transform: translate(-1px, -1px); box-shadow: 4px 4px 0 var(--ink); }
|
||||||
|
.btn:active { transform: translate(2px, 2px); box-shadow: 1px 1px 0 var(--ink); }
|
||||||
|
.btn-ghost { background: var(--card); color: var(--ink); }
|
||||||
|
.hero-btns { display: flex; gap: 10px; flex-wrap: wrap; margin-top: 18px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* joke of the day */
|
||||||
|
.jod-banner { background: linear-gradient(135deg, #fff, #fff4dd); text-align: left; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-label { font-weight: 800; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: .85rem; color: var(--brand-dark); margin-bottom: 8px; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-date { font-size: .9rem; font-weight: 700; color: var(--ink-soft); margin-bottom: 6px; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-page { margin: 0 0 30px; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-more { margin-top: 14px; font-size: .95rem; }
|
||||||
|
.jod-more a { font-weight: 700; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* categories */
|
||||||
|
.cat-grid { display: grid; grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(230px, 1fr)); gap: 16px; }
|
||||||
|
.cat-card {
|
||||||
|
background: var(--card); border: 2px solid var(--ink); border-radius: var(--radius);
|
||||||
|
box-shadow: 4px 4px 0 var(--ink); padding: 20px 18px; text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink);
|
||||||
|
display: flex; flex-direction: column; gap: 4px;
|
||||||
|
transition: transform .08s ease, box-shadow .08s ease;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.cat-card:hover { transform: translate(-2px, -2px); box-shadow: 6px 6px 0 var(--ink); background: #fffdf5; }
|
||||||
|
.cat-emoji { font-size: 1.8rem; }
|
||||||
|
.cat-name { font-weight: 800; letter-spacing: -0.2px; }
|
||||||
|
.cat-count { color: var(--ink-soft); font-size: .88rem; }
|
||||||
|
.chips { display: flex; gap: 10px; flex-wrap: wrap; }
|
||||||
|
.chip { border: 1.5px solid var(--ink); border-radius: 999px; padding: 5px 14px; text-decoration: none; color: var(--ink); font-weight: 600; background: var(--card); }
|
||||||
|
.chip:hover { background: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
.center-link { text-align: center; margin: 30px 0 10px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* generator */
|
||||||
|
.gen-card { margin-top: 6px; }
|
||||||
|
.plain-list { margin: 10px 0 20px 22px; }
|
||||||
|
.plain-list li { margin-bottom: 8px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* search */
|
||||||
|
.search-form input {
|
||||||
|
width: 100%; font: inherit; font-size: 1.1rem; padding: 13px 18px;
|
||||||
|
border: 2px solid var(--ink); border-radius: 999px; background: var(--card); outline: none;
|
||||||
|
box-shadow: 3px 3px 0 var(--ink); margin: 6px 0 18px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.search-count { color: var(--ink-soft); margin-bottom: 16px; font-weight: 600; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* archive */
|
||||||
|
.archive { display: grid; grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(310px, 1fr)); gap: 14px; margin-bottom: 20px; }
|
||||||
|
.archive .joke-card { margin-bottom: 0; padding: 16px 18px; }
|
||||||
|
.archive .joke-setup { font-size: 1rem; }
|
||||||
|
.archive .joke-punch { font-size: 1.05rem; margin-top: 8px; }
|
||||||
|
.archive .jod-date { margin-bottom: 2px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* misc */
|
||||||
|
.crumbs { font-size: .9rem; margin: 18px 0 4px; color: var(--ink-soft); }
|
||||||
|
.crumbs a { color: var(--ink-soft); }
|
||||||
|
.seo-blurb { margin: 40px auto 50px; }
|
||||||
|
.seo-blurb p { max-width: 52rem; margin-bottom: 10px; color: var(--ink-soft); }
|
||||||
|
.center { text-align: center; padding: 80px 20px; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
/* footer */
|
||||||
|
.site-footer { background: var(--ink); color: var(--cream); margin-top: 60px; }
|
||||||
|
.site-footer a { color: var(--brand2); text-decoration: none; }
|
||||||
|
.site-footer a:hover { text-decoration: underline; }
|
||||||
|
.foot-grid { display: grid; grid-template-columns: 2fr 2fr 1fr; gap: 30px; padding: 40px 20px 10px; }
|
||||||
|
.foot-logo { font-size: 1.2rem; font-weight: 800; margin-bottom: 8px; }
|
||||||
|
.foot-logo span { color: var(--brand2); }
|
||||||
|
.foot-logo em { font-style: normal; opacity: .7; font-size: .95rem; }
|
||||||
|
.site-footer p { opacity: .85; font-size: .92rem; }
|
||||||
|
.foot-h { font-weight: 800; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: .78rem; margin-bottom: 10px; }
|
||||||
|
.foot-links { display: flex; flex-direction: column; gap: 6px; font-size: .92rem; }
|
||||||
|
.foot-base { border-top: 1px solid rgba(255,248,236,.2); margin-top: 24px; padding-top: 16px; padding-bottom: 20px; font-size: .85rem; }
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@media (max-width: 860px) {
|
||||||
|
.foot-grid { grid-template-columns: 1fr; gap: 22px; }
|
||||||
|
.navburger {
|
||||||
|
display: block; font-size: 1.5rem; cursor: pointer; padding: 2px 10px;
|
||||||
|
border: 2px solid var(--ink); border-radius: 10px; background: var(--cream);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
.navtoggle:checked ~ .site-nav { display: flex; }
|
||||||
|
.site-nav { display: none; flex-direction: column; width: 100%; padding-bottom: 12px; }
|
||||||
|
.catbar a:first-child { margin-left: 2px; }
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
Loading…
Reference in a new issue